The Weight of a Soul
by Sabiruna
Summary: Third in the Soul series.  The Council's inner war has left Faith free to stay in L.A. with the A.I. crew, they also left behind devastating information about Cordelia's visions.  The gang is left scrambling for answers with little time left.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to Joss Whedon and _Angel _the series.

**Synopsis:** This is the third story in the Soul series I am working on. In order the stories are _The Price of a Soul_, _The Judging of a Soul_, and now _The Weight of a Soul._ The Council is having it's own inner-struggles but have been forced to stop their pursuit of Faith. Just as they are breathing a sigh of relief, once member of Council is killed and sends a package to the team that has caught them all by surprise.

**Chapter One**

Spike huffed out a breath and tossed the paper onto the table. Wesley raised his head and gave him a look, then went back to his book. Spike glared and crossed his arms as he slunk back into the couch. Faith came up from the basement, a frown on her face and soaked with sweat. She glared at Spike.

"Your turn."

"Th' poof still beatin' on things?"

"Well now that I'm not there, yeah."

She caught Wesley's look and shook her head.

"I'm fine, he's not."

She thrust a thumb back towards the basement and headed to the kitchen for a drink. Spike was debating going back down but Angel came pounding up the steps and tossed aside his sword then went past Wesley to grab his jacket. Faith walked back in with a bottle of water and frowned.

"Where are you going?"

"You know where."

Angel bit off. Spike was up and grinning.

"All right! 'bout time, mate, let's do this!"

Wesley got up as well and moved to block his way.

"Angel, we've discussed this. She said she was taking a few days off."

"It's been almost a week!"

"Too right! Poof's right, you don' tell us she's dyin' then say forget abou' it."

Wesley sighed, the same fight, over and over. He ran a hand through his hair.

"I didn't say we forget about it."

Angel crossed his arms over his chest and stared at him.

"Then what are we doing? She shouldn't be alone. She sure as hell shouldn't have hidden it. _You_ shouldn't have hidden it."

"I didn't know!"

Angel tilted his head and Wesley threw up his hands.

"I knew, it was taking a toll, believe me, I had no idea how much of a toll. Do you think I would have just done nothing if I'd known?"

"Great, well now we know. So now we do something."

Faith shrugged and walked up to stand by Wesley.

"Well I'm all for that. So what do we do?"

Angel stopped, he didnt' have a plan. Spike, of course, didn't need one.

"We go get 'er back 'ere!"

"And then what?"

Spike growled and Faith shook her head.

"Look, I don't like this any more than you do, but right now, there's nothing we can do. Wes is looking into the magic stuff, but for us, there's nothing for us to do. We're the fighters, and really, what the hell do we fight here?"

She wasn't glaring, she was frustrated. She didn't know what to do either, and it bothered her, but she didn't think yelling was going to help. Angel sighed.

"She should have told us."

Wesley nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"I'm not sure she knew. Oh she knew it was a problem, but, I don't think, she knew she was dying."

Faith tilted her head at him.

"How d'you figure?"

His voice was unsure, as if he was still figuring it out himself.

"She seemed, upset, shocked, but only partially at me reading the letter. Why else would she need the time?"

Everyone sighed and Angel raised his eyes.

"She's got one more day, then I'm going over there."

"Agreed."

**AA**

Cordelia had suspected, but hadn't wanted to believe it. She saw doctors. She got meds, got CT scans, and then moved on to another doctor. After all, she couldn't honestly tell them what was causing her 'migraines'. Robertson had put all the information together and found the pattern that she couldn't, because she didn't know how. Because she never saw the same doctor twice. Because she wasn't looking. Mostly, because she didn't want to see it. She spent the first day depressed, crying, eating ice cream. All the typical signs. The second and third were spent going over the information meticulously. Looking for any other option, any other explanation. When she didn't find it, she went back to the ice cream. She was aware there was that whole stages of grief thing, she even looked them up. Then she decided they were crap. She wasn't going to wallow, or cry, or whine to the Powers. She was sure as hell not going to try and bargain with them! Like some pathetic little, well, cry-Buffy. This was her deal in life. Crying and complaining wasn't going to change it, better to just deal with it.

So she called the last doctor she'd seen, asked to see him right away and brought the file in. She didn't let him take copies, and she left with it afterwards, but he went over everything with her. He apologized, sincerely, as if he was worried that he had missed it. She let him know it was fine, that she hadn't been honest so couldn't blame him. He saw no way to reverse the damage, or stop it if they couldn't stop the migraines. She refused preventatives. She wasn't sure they would stop the visions or not so wasn't chancing it. She did accept some higher medications and he was careful explaining the dosages. Enough so that she had the feeling he'd 'assisted' those in pain before. In the only way he legally could.

It was five days, five days and she went over, skipped much of, and moved from that stages of grief thing. She wasn't going to waste any more time, certainly not five more days.

**AA**

She was prepared the next morning, she knew that there would be arguments, so she was going to make sure she had every argument taken care of. She dressed to look her best and her make up was flawless. No one would look at her and think anything other than a healthy, hopefully attractive, young woman. Satisfied she headed into work, early actually. She was here at 9:30 on the dot. No one else was up, or in yet, so she had the office to herself. She set the files aside on her desk, straightened and then hung up her jacket. By the time Wesley came in she had coffee ready and was looking over the messages. He walked into the office and she handed him his coffee on the way to her desk. He took it with a nod and sipped at it. He had moved all the way to his chair before he realized she was back. He stopped and looked over.

Cordelia smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Okay so I said a few days, and it was a bit longer. I'm back now, no cases while I was gone?"

He stuttered and shook his head.

"Er, well no not really, just, well we were worried, and, are you feeling well?"

Her smile softened.

"Wes I'm fine. Honestly, I'd just rather wait for everyone to discuss it because I _know_ you guys are going to want to discuss it and I am not having the same arguments over and over."

"Arguments?"

"Wes."

He held his hands up in defense and sat down.

"All right, all right."

He did give her a smile, glad she was back. She shook her head and muttered something about being surrounded by dorks before going through the messages.

The rest of the morning went much the same. Faith came down and was surprised, Wesley shook his head in warning and Cordelia was acting as if it were just another day. So Faith shrugged and went with it. Spike and Angel rose within minutes of each other. Heading down into the lobby as they went for their coats. Faith was sitting on the counter and glanced up.

"What's up?"

"We're 'eadin' out. It's been a day already."

"We discussed this yesterday, Faith."

Angel added, his voice stiff as he pulled on his coat. Cordelia came out of the kitchen with mugs and handed them over.

"Here, you'll want to eat before you go."

She breezed past them to the office and Angel took the mug. Spike stared. Angel continued pulling on his coat and sipped at it.

"We'll be back."

Faith was trying not to laugh and Spike rolled his eyes, elbowing Angel who just glared at him.

"What?"

"Cheerleader jus' went inta th' office, you poof!"

Angel's brow furrowed then he glanced to the blood and then to the office heading right inside. Spike shook his head and Faith shrugged before hopping down and following.

"Well I'm not missing the show."

Wesley was at his desk and Cordelia was leaned over as they looked at a book. Angel stood there for a moment then finally crossed his arms.

"Cordelia."

She raised her head and smiled.

"Morning!"

Going back to the book, Wesley stared at Angel waiting for it. Cordelia went right back to work. Angel narrowed his eyes.

"Morning? That's it?"

She looked at him and blinked innocently, much to the amusement of Spike and Faith, Wesley was too smart to show amusement right now.

"Good morning?"

"Cordelia."

She sighed and shook her head, walked over and patted at his arm.

"Calm down Angel. I'm sure you are just itching to brood about it, but there will be no brooding."

She headed to her desk and he stopped her grabbing her arm.

"Cordelia, we want to know what's going on. No more lying."

She stopped and then stared at him.

"Excuse me? I am not a liar and _if_ you want to discuss it, you will ask _nicely_. Otherwise, it's none of your business."

"None of my business! You got the visions because of me, and it's none of my business?"

She pulled her arm away and put hands on her hips ready to yell at him.

"Look here, you, you -"

He tilted his head and crossed his arms, the two facing off just daring the other to continue. Instead she groaned and tossed her hands up.

"It's not worth it."

"Cor you do not get to-"

"Ooooooh yes I do! Now if we are going to get any work done we are getting this over with. So everyone out to the lobby."

Wesley stood and headed for the door, he nodded to the others and Faith headed out, Spike frowned but turned. Angel was the last to turn and only after she gave him a pointed look and then literally pointed to the lobby.

Cordelia grabbed her papers and files from the desk then headed out after them. Wesley and Faith sat on a couch next to each other, Spike slouched on the other and Angel just stood there. She sighed, since he wasn't going to relax she pulled out the file and handed it to Wes.

"Right, so if the half threatening phone calls are any indication, Wes told you all what the letter said."

Wesley frowned and took the file but looked around. All three of the others glanced down. He sighed and looked back at Cordelia.

"I'm sorry, I hadn't expected -"

She waved it off.

"No big Wes. Honestly, _I_ hadn't expected it eitehr."

Angel scoffed.

"You expect us to believe that?"

Cordelia just looked at him.

"Call me a liar, one more time Angel. I have never done _anything_ but be honest with you, work _with_ you and put the visions and your work first. Which is more than you can say."

Wesley had looked over the file, and seeing a chance to stop an argument from getting worse, interrupted.

"These are all under different names, and with different doctors."

Cordelia turned towards Wesley, effectively ignoring Angel.

"Right. Well, I couldn't see the same doctor over and over. They all thought it was migraines. I didn't know what else to tell them really, but they all had the same information. Intensity of pain, frequency, family history, blah blah. Anyway, that's why I didn't, well, see what he did."

"That, you're dying."

She shrugged.

"Basically."

Spike glared at her now and grabbed the file from Wesley.

"An' you're all nice an' calm about it? If you didn' know before you do now, _we_ do now."

Cordelia smiled.

"I know, and that's what I want to talk to you guys about. It's okay."

Faith frowned.

"What's okay?"

She gestured with a hand to the files.

"This. I mean, I'm not happy about it of course, but, it's the way things are, and I'm okay with it."

Wesley stood up and shook his head.

"How? How can you simply say you are 'okay' with it? Cordelia, you are dying."

"Yeah, I got that. I cried, I had some ice cream and it's not fair. Got it. I took all the files to the last doctor I saw, he confirmed it. No way to fix the damage, without stopping the 'migraines', no way to stop the descent. Thing is, how many times do you guys go out to fight something and think that you might not make it? Let's be honest, none of us are looking at a retirement plan and nursing home in our futures."

Faith shook her head.

"That's different. I mean, they're vampires and I'm a slayer. They don't get old and well, neither do slayers."

"We do a lot of good because of the visions. I wouldn't give them up if you asked. I need you to understand that. So they will probably shorten my life. Not liking that part but you take the good with the bad."

Angel just stared, and his voice finally came out soft and stiff.

"You didn't ask for this."

She looked at him.

"And you did? Faith did? I get it, it sucks. It makes you angry, or sad, or whatever. I took a few days, I'm done. You each get one day, that's it. After that, no more crying, or complaining or getting angry, or _brooding._"

She gave Angel a pointed look. He narrowed his eyes, and Wesley stepped towards her, Faith stood and shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest.

"So give up?"

Cordelia rolled her eyes.

"No, not just give up. That's the _point_! I dont' want whatever time I have left to be whining and crying and complaining how unfair things are. I'm not a cry-Bu- baby. That would be giving up. If you were told you had one day left. If we got the call apocalypse tomorrow and nothing you could do to stop it, what would you want to do with your day? Well I'd want to be here. I'd want to be helping people. So that's what I'm going to do."

Faith lowered her eyes and Wesley removed his glasses. Spike put the papers aside and stood up to look at her. Cordelia's shoulders slumped, she couldn't discuss this all day she just couldn't. She looked at her friends and her eyes softened.

"Please you guys. I need you to understand."

Spike nodded.

"Got it, yeah? Wanna keep fightin' the good fight. We all got an expiration date, you jus' know yours is comin' up."

She relaxed and he walked over to her, took her chin and looked her in the eye.

"Don' mean we're jus' gonna sit back an' wait it out. Gotta let us try an' find somethin' else, pet."

She pursed her lips and looked passed him to Wes who nodded.

"I'm, looking into magical solutions now, if I can use your files. . . "

She closed her eyes for a moment and sighed.

"Fine, but, this isn't a priority. Our cases, the visions, those are still the priority. And, I, don't want to hear about every little lead. I can't take the - "

Wesley jumped in.

"Of course, I'll make sure any option I find is completely researched before I mention it."

Spike smiled.

"That a deal then, luv?"

She narrowed her eyes at him and reached up to take his hand from her chin.

"Fine, but you cut your brooding time in half now I hope you know."

"Not th' broodin' type. Waste o' time."

Faith felt a bit out of place, she had no research she could help with and she wasn't the hugging type, which was exactly what Wesley was heading over to do. He lowered his face to Cordelia's ear as he hugged her.

"I understand, I do, but we aren't ready to lose you yet."

Cordelia just closed her eyes, tears threatening again when she promised herself she was not going to cry. She wanted to tell him to get ready but couldn't.

"Thanks."

Faith cleared her throat.

"Well, while boring paper work is being done, I can take Cordy downstairs for training."

Cordelia kept an arm around Wesley as he pulled back and turned to stand at her side. She looked at Faith confused.

"Training?"

"Well yeah, I know shit about magic and less about doctors, but i know if you're in shape, you feel better. Supposed to keep you healthy and all, so figure I can teach you to kick some ass and worse case. . . "

Cordelia grinned.

"Worse case I'm a hot looking corpse?"

Faith shrugged. It might be inappropriate humor but it helped.

Wesley nodded and Spike shrugged.

"Righ' then. You two gonna train an' watcher boy will do the studyin'. I'll even give a hand or two. Know a li'l bit abou' languages. Particular demons. Sound like a plan?"

Everyone was moving, thinking this might work when Angel stopped them.

"No."

They all stopped moving and looked at Cordelia. Her face was a study in worry and she swallowed.

"Angel, please -"

He lowered his arms and sighed.

"You should eat first. You, skip breakfast too much. I'll, make eggs."

Her mouth twitched into a relieved smile.

"Okay."

Angel tilted his head and she looked at Faith who just grinned.

"Hey I'm all about food if someone else is cooking."

They headed to the kitchen and Angel turned to follow. He stopped and turned back to Wes and Spike.

"Find something."

They looked at each other.

"I'm looking Angel."

"Doin' what we can, yeah?"

Angel nodded and headed into the kitchen. For now, he'd do what he could. Make it seem like everything was normal, make each day a little better. Hope that there were no visions, and every minute he could would be busy with research. He'd check with The Host, he'd check with the Powers if he had to. There had to be something and he'd find it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to Joss Whedon and _Angel _the series.

**Synopsis:** This is the third story in the Soul series I am working on. In order the stories are _The Price of a Soul_, _The Judging of a Soul_, and now _The Weight of a Soul._ The Council is having it's own inner-struggles but have been forced to stop their pursuit of Faith. Just as they are breathing a sigh of relief, once member of Council is killed and sends a package to the team that has caught them all by surprise.

**Chapter Two**

For the most part, the next few days settled into a kind of routine. Cordelia would catch one of them staring at her and she quickly put on a smile and waved them away. Wes was studying, digging for information. It got to the point where Cordy felt the need to threaten him to get him to take a break. Angel, Spike, and Faith headed out every night to patrol. They tried to play it off as not a big deal but there was no hiding it. They seemed to believe if they could keep on top of things, work hard enough, there would be no reason for Cordy to have a vision, and delaying them was just as important as finding a way to make them less lethal.

Angel had tried mentioning, he was sure in a polite way, that maybe Faith shouldn't be training her so hard but Cordy squashed that. Faith was taking it easy on her and she knew it, so everyone should just let it be. She hadn't heard anything from Wesley and she thought about asking but she honestly didn't want to get her hopes up so dropped it. It was late, a few days later, ad he was groaning, rubbing at his face and obviously tired. Cordelia was heading home, and the others were heading out for the night. Cordelia sighed and came over pulling the book from him to mark his place then close it. He reached for it and she shook her head.

"Wes, it's late. You promised, this isn't going to take over. So either you go home and take a break, or I'll stay up right here all night with you."

"Cordelia you need your rest."

"Exactly. So you'll go home and rest?"

He looked at her as if to complain then sighed and nodded.

"Very well. I'll be back in the morning."

Cordelia grinned.

"And so will the book, and so will I."

He reached for his coat then turned to look at her.

"Can you promise that?"

Cordelia rolled her eyes and crossed her heart. She went to lift her fingers in a sort of girl scout salute when her body jerked. Wesley's face fell and he reached for her.

"Angel! Spike! FAITH!"

Her hands grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and he tried to hold her up.

"B-big, ahhh! Horns, h-horns."

She stuttered through and her head snapped back. Arms were pulling her from Wesley and he looked up as Angel grabbed her. Spike moved the chair out of the way and let him pull her out of the office. Faith went for the pills and water and Wesley tried to fix his shirt, and followed out. Angel tried to hold her still.

"It's okay, just, relax into it."

He didn't know if that would help but it was all he could do.

"No! Four, four of them, club, b-blue lights. Help them!"

She went stiff as a board as she screamed and then went limp. Angel frowned and pushed the hair from her face, turning to look at her.

"Cordelia? Cor!"

Faith just stood there with the water and pills. Angel looked up at Wesley and he frowned. Wes shook his head.

"Is she?"

Angel glanced back down.

"She's breathing. She, won't wake up."

Spike wiped at his face.

"We take care o' it right? Said th' pain goes away when we do, yeah? We gotta get ou' there."

Angel picked Cordelia up and set her on the couch.

"Right. Wes, keep an eye on her, a close eye. Anyone have a lead on this club?"

Faith set the water and pills aside.

"I think I might. She said blue lights. There's a club that I swear uses only blue lights. It makes everyone look dead, they play tons of techno. It's a place to start."

They stood there for a moment, just watching her breath before Spike went to get a weapon and the other two followed. Wes took a seat across from Cordelia and just gave them a nod as they left.

**AA**

Cordelia woke with a groan, and tried to roll over in what she thought was her bed. Wesley was there immediately and grabbed her from rolling off of the couch.

"Easy there."

She winced and looked up at him through half opened eyes.

"Shhh, not so loud!"

He whispered the, and helped her to sitting before reaching for the pills again.

"Here, take these."

Shaking her head she lifted a hand and gestured to the office.

"Something stronger, in my purse."

He glanced back with a frown and rose to go get the pills. He dug through the purse and found them, reading the label as he came back.

"Cordelia these are, "

"I know, I know, just, just give me one."

He did and after she took them he sat down next to her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? Like someone's been playing kickball with my insides. They found them. Should be back soon. I'll get the kit."

She went to stand and he grabbed her hand.

"No, you sit. I'll get the kit. And no arguing. You know just the face that you are up is going to have me in hot water with the others."

Smiling and patting her hand he went to get the kit while she tried to fix her hair and wiped at her face hoping she didn't look nearly as bad as she felt. Wesley was just coming back when the others came in the front door, carrying Faith. His face paled and Cordy got up quickly.

"Here, lay her down!"

Spike and Angel stopped, seeing her awake but then moved to lay Faith down.

"You should be in bed Cor."

Cordelia started removing Faith's jacket and snapped her fingers at Wesley.

"Wes! Move it, I need that kit! Not now Angel."

Wes stumbled forward and handed her the kit then sat on the end of the sofa and lifted Faith's head to scoot closer and put her head in his lap.

"What happened?"

Faith winced.

"Hey Cor? Think you can go a little easy on the ribs there?"

Angel shook his head.

"They were huge, we were outnumbered and Faith got stuck with two of them jumping her. She took, claws I think."

Cordy frowned and cleaned up the blood trying to find the actual wound.

"Sorry, I didn't get enough information to you guys. You might have had a better chance."

Faith smiled up at Wes.

"Hey stop looking like that. Damn, it's just a claw."

Spike had disappeared into the office and come back with a book.

"Yeah, found it. 'ere's what they were. Any problems with poison?"

Handing the book to Wes he looked it over and frowned.

"No, claws are fine, the, the tails though. Did any of you get hit by the spines?"

Faith lifted a hand to Wesley's face.

"Hey, breathe."

Spike took the book back.

"Nah, think we're all fine there. 'ow's it lookin' cheerleader?"

Wesley looked down at Faith and frowned, taking her hand and kissing the palm. Spike and Angel exchanged looks and Cordelia smiled.

"Well, normally I'd say stitches but with that super metabolism and stuff, I'm just setting it with some butterflys. Doesn't look like a lot of blood lost, but, you cracked some ribs. So I'll wrap you up and then you should probably be immobile for a bit."

She raised eyes to see neither Wes or Faith were looking at her. So she went back to work. She had to lean over Faith to get the wrap done but once she did she stood up. A little unsteady, Angel was there to grab her elbow. She gave him a smile in thanks then looked at Faith and Wesley.

"Okay you two, upstairs."

That seemed to get through and Wesley looked up.

"Pardon?"

Cordelia rolled her eyes.

"Please, you look like you're going to go off the deep end if you are more than five feet from her and she needs her rest. Besides it's not like you haven't had your little sleep overs before! So take her up to bed, both of you get some rest."

To Wesley's surprise, Angel nodded.

"Get some rest you two."

Wesley nodded and got up carefully, helping Faith to her feet. She muttered something about not being a baby but she leaned into him anyway as he helped her up stairs. Cordy crossed her arms and tilted her head smiling as she watched them. Once they disappeared she sighed.

"I'm glad I got to see that."

Spike raised a brow.

"See th' slayer injured? Happened, 'fore pet, will happen again."

Cordelia rolled her eyes.

"No, those two. They are, so different in a lot of ways, but they work. They make each other happy, and scared. I'm glad I got to see it, before. . ."

She shrugged it off and turned to head to the office. Angel frowned and turned to go after her before Spike could.

"Cor, you aren't going to die."

Pulling her purse on she smiled and patted his cheek as she stepped past him.

"We all die Angel, and don't even think about hinting at the vampire thing. Sorry, broody is not a color that will work on me."

"Where you goin' bit?"

"Home. I'm tired, it's been a long day."

Spike scooped up the pill bottle on the table and looked at it.

"You take any o' these?"

She went to grab the bottle and he pulled it back out of reach. With a sigh she lowered her arm and glared at him.

"One, they _are_ prescribed, so hand them over."

Angel shoved his hands into his pockets.

"What are they?"

Cordelia went to reach for them again and Spike tossed them to Angel.

"Think she should stay 'here yea? Not s'possed t' be out with this kinda stuff in your system."

Angel looked it over but didn't know what it was.

"What is it?"

"It's mine is what it is!"

Angel held it out for her and when she grabbed it he grabbed her arm.

"You can stay here tonight."

"Angel -"

"No, you have a room upstairs, use it."

"Uggh, fine! I don't see why you two are being such babies!"

Cordelia shoved the pills in her purse and headed up stairs, being sure to stomp the other entire time. Once she left Angel looked at Spike, who shrugged.

"Them are some 'eavy narcs. Th' kind they prescribe for terminal patients t' overdose t'. Pain is bad."

Angel nodded.

"Get some rest, tomorrow is going to be busy."

"Got a plan, poof?"

"I might."

"Don' keep a vampire in suspense then."

"Tomorrow Spike."

Angel walked off and Spike sighed.

"Right then, I'll jus' do the clean up then, yeah?"

**AA**

By the time Angel came down the next morning, nearly afternoon, Cordelia was already up. She sat at the counter by the office and looked up from her coffee. Sliding a mug towards him.

"I'd leave the kitchen alone if I were you."

He walked over to take the mug and frowned.

"Oh?"

As if in answer there was a solid tin sound clattering over the floor and a string of curses, most of which Cordelia didn't understand.

"Wesley is determined to make Faith breakfast in bed so her ribs heal."

Angel gave a knowing look and nodded, sipping at his blood.

"Right. So what are you working on?"

She glanced down to the file.

"Oh, the demons from last night. I'm still sorry I didn't get more information to you guys. So making sure we have everything on them in the file you know?"

"It was a bad one, Cor. You were out cold. How can you be worried about information when it nearly killed you?"

She shrugged.

"Because information or lack of it almost got Faith killed?"

He sighed but Spike was coming down and thrust a thumb towards the kitchen.

"What's wit' the watcher?"

Cordy grinned.

"He's making breakfast for Faith."

"That a good idea? So what's up, Poof? Got tha' plan yet?"

Angel almost winced but quickly put on an innocent enough looking face when Cordelia narrowed her eyes at him.

"Plan?"

Angel shrugged.

"More an idea. I have Lorne coming to do a reading."

Cordelia's face fell.

"Oh no, do I _have_ to? Really Angel, no one wants to hear me sing."

Wesley came out with a tray and looking like he'd somehow fought world war three while in the kitchen. With a quick glance up before heading for the stairs he put in his own agreement.

"I may agree with you there Cordelia, but it is a valid option. One we probably should have thought of first. I can take her to Caritas once I've settled Faith with breakfast."

Cordelia shot him a look.

"Traitor."

Angel finished his blood and then put the mug down.

"No need, Lorne should be in, within the hour I believe."

He checked his watch.

"Right, so you guys can fill me in on how the reading went when I get back."

Cordelia got up as he headed out.

"Wait, back from where?"

Angel grabbed his coat and slipped it on, looking passed her to Spike.

"I'll be back. I have a lead of my own to check in on. Wes, let Faith rest, Spike -"

Cordelia wasn't having any of this talking around her thing and went to block his escape.

"Hold on there mister! No passing me off to Spike to look after so no one pays attention to you. You, are up to something. You are _not_ walking out that door and doing something stupid!"

She crossed her arms and he sighed. Stepping up to her he put his hands on her shoulders and down to her upper arms.

"Cor, we promised not to disregard the visions, and we didn't, but you promised to let us try to find an answer. I'm just going to go check on a lead. If it turns out to be nothing, then no harm. But if it's a chance, then you have to let us try it."

Her face softened but he didn't give her the chance to say anything. His hands tightened on her arms and he picked her up and set her aside. With a quick kiss to her forehead he was out the door. Leaving her to stand and stare after him. She rounded on Spike next. Spike just held up his hands.

"Don' look at me. Poof doesn' tell me anythin' yeah?"

Cordy sighed and gave one last glance back to the door.

"All right, well come on. I'll clean up whatever mess Wes made, get you some breakfast and wait for Lorne I guess."

He smirked and went to follow her that way.

"Do I get th' special then?"

"What is it with you and weetabix? But yes, I picked some up for you."

He grinned and threw an arm around her as they headed to the kitchen.

**AA**

Angel made his way through the city without hesitation. His feet followed the path as if he had gone there many times before. The truth was, it was only twice. Once, Doyle had brought him and he had the Powers turn back time. Leaving only himself with the memory of being alive. Being human. The happiness of a perfect day with Buffy. At the time it had felt like the ultimate sacrifice. Now, he realized that it was sparing them both. It wouldn't have lasted, it couldn't. The second time he had come this way, it was after losing Doyle. He had thought it his place to die for the others but Doyle had jumped. He needed his seer. At least that's what he told them, but they saw through him, he grieved for a friend. Something he had not truly had in his souled lifetime. Oh Buffy had loved him and he her, but they weren't friends. Her friends weren't his either, they tolerated him and sometimes, not even that. The Powers hadn't listened. Or rather, they hadn't done what he was hoping for. It was his place to keep fighting, and Doyle had done an amazingly brave thing. He didn't want to lessen or cheapen it, simply because he missed him.

This time, though, was different. This time it was the visions themselves that were the problem. They were killing her. They had to have a way to stop them from killing her, to save her, or to take them away. He could continue to fight without them. They did no good saving others with their warnings if they were killing someone else. Killing Cordelia.

He was prepared, he wouldn't back down, not this time. So when he got to the rather plain and dingy alleyway he glanced around and made his plea for entrance. He set aside the gift he brought and when the light was granted he stepped inside. His mind already made up that he was not leaving until he knew that Cordelia was safe from her death sentence, safe from the visions.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to Joss Whedon and _Angel _the series.

**Synopsis:** This is the third story in the Soul series I am working on. In order the stories are _The Price of a Soul_, _The Judging of a Soul_, and now _The Weight of a Soul._ The Council is having it's own inner-struggles but have been forced to stop their pursuit of Faith. Just as they are breathing a sigh of relief, once member of Council is killed and sends a package to the team that has caught them all by surprise.

**Chapter Three**

By the time Lorne showed up Faith was pouting on the couch and Wesley was pouting that she made it even that far.

"Really Faith, Cordelia said you should be immobile for awhile. You were injured less than twelve hours ago!"

"Seriously, did I look like I needed help getting down here?"

"Yes, yes you did!"

Faith glared at him.

"No, no I didn't. You just wouldn't leave me alone!"

Cordelia giggled and the two both turned on her. Spike sidled up to her and glared back at the two. Not that Cordelia noticed, she just shrugged.

"What? You two are only arguing because you care so much and it's cute. Whether you like it or not."

Faith rolled her eyes.

"Pffft, I am _not_ cute."

Wesley crossed his arms.

"Well not when you are being so stubborn, certainly."

The arguing was most likely going to just start up again if it weren't for Lorne arriving with a grin and, of course, a song.

"Good afternoon, kiddies! So where's the champ?"

Spike moved to grab the drink they had ready for him.

"Said t' start wit'out 'im. Followin' a lead."

Lorne nodded a thanks and took the drink, sitting down next to Faith and giving her knee a pat. He took a sip and crossed his legs smiling back up at Cordelia.

"All right Princess, let's have it."

Cordelia closed her eyes and sighed.

"Are you sure? I mean, you've heard me sing, it's, well, let's just say I won't be doing broadway."

Lorne did his own wince, that was putting it lightly. He leaned over his leg, elbow on his knee and drink dangling from his hand.

"Look, sugar, I understand the stage fright, but, maybe if you try _not_ singing?"

"Come again?"

"Well, it's more about feeling than technique. Well for you anyway, some people have technique that just blows you away! There's this one demon. . . "

"Lorne!"

"Oh sorry, got carried away. Anyhow, try and pick a song that means something, close your eyes, and feel it. The singing will take care of itself. Go ahead."

Cordelia wasn't so sure but she'd give it a shot. She nodded and closed her eyes. That helped, she could still feel them all staring at her, but at least she couldn't see it. A song that meant something, well there was one she had been listening to more than others lately. She opened her mouth and sang, softly and while it might not have been good, it wasn't the screeching painful sound they were all used to.

_"They say you never see it coming_  
_All the tiny little breaks_  
_But somewhere out beyond all reason_  
_You keep on giving what it takes_

_I never thought of running_  
_I was busy carrying the load_  
_Had the strength enough to take it_  
_But not enough to let it go_  
_It's a long time coming down a broken road_

_And finally I can feel without fearing_  
_Cry without the pain_  
_Stand up and love me_  
_Without any shame_  
_It might have been a rough way to learn it_  
_And a hard place to land_  
_But the one thing I'm sure of now_  
_Is I know who I am_

_Now if somebody would have told me_  
_There was a better place to be_  
_In my quiet desperation_  
_It was too hard to believe_

_I guess you gotta go the distance_  
_To know just when enough's, enough_  
_Won't let nobody take it from me_  
_Cause I know what I'm made of_

_And there's nothing I can't rise above"_

It was way too quiet when she finished so she winced and then opened her eyes. Everyone was just staring at her. Her face fell and she looked at them then at Lorne.

"That bad?"

Wesley gave a weak smile.

"It was, lovely."

Cordelia sighed.

"That's code isn't it?"

Lorne finished his drink then stood up and came over to give her a hug.

"It was miles above anything you've ever given me before Princess. How about that. Now, for the rest of it, how about, some privacy?"

She relaxed, glad that at least she wasn't having people run for the hills. She licked her lips and looked at Wes and Faith, then over to Spike who had his eyes on the floor. She shook her head.

"It's okay, I'm probably just going to tell them all after anyway."

"You sure?"

"We can give you some priv'cy, pet."

Cordelia reached for Spike's hand.

"No, let's just get it over with."

**AA**

_"What do you want, lesser being?"_

Angel ground his teeth and looked around, they hadn't shown themselves yet.

"I want you to stop killing Cordelia."

Finally they walked into view, staring at him in what appeared to be a childlike confusion.

_"The seer?"_

_"We kill no one. We are separate."_

"The visions, they are killing her."

_"But we are not the visions."_

_"We did not give the visions to her."_

"No, but you can take them away."

They walked around him, his shoulders twitched as their gaze traveled over him. They made a double circuit each going in another direction, before meeting in front of him again.

_"We can."_

_"But we will not."_

"Why not? If they kill her you'll just have to find another seer anyway!"

_"It is not your choice."_

_"It is hers."_

_"The visions were meant to fall to her."_

_"She has earned them."_

"**Earned **them? You mean earned death! She does not deserve to die."

_"You keep speaking of death."_

_"We have no control over death."_

Angel tried not to growl, he knew from past experience and insistent warnings that if he lost his temper they would simply evict him from their presence. He couldn't afford that right now.

"No, but you do have control over the visions, right?"

They looked to each other.

_"We can not take the visions."_

_"We can, prevent them."_

That seemed like more than an acceptable answer to Angel.

"You can stop her from having them? Ever?"

They nodded.

_"There is a cost."_

_"It will stop her from following her own path."_

_"The visions are part of her destiny."_

_"You will be asking us to block her path."_

_"So that you can continue yours without her."_

Angel frowned. He wasn't entirely sure what they meant, but it sounded like, she wouldn't be around anymore.

"Wait, she won't, be there? Won't remember me?"

_"She will be unaffected as far as memory goes."_

_"But she will no longer be your seer."_

He nodded.

"That's fine."

They walked right up to him then. Voices got very low.

_"Be sure about this."_

_"You are affecting your own destiny."_

_"But more importantly, you are denying her, hers."_

_"Is the cost of her true purpose worth it?"_

He didn't think. He didn't think he needed to.

"Do it."

**AA**

Lorne had moved to the other sofa and sat down with Cordelia. Wesley sat with Faith and Spike tried not to pace as he stood to the side.

"Okay, we already know about the whole, well, dying thing. But, I mean, anything else you can tell me?"

Lorne almost laughed, instead he smiled and sat back.

"Oh I saw plenty. Most importantly, I saw that these _are_ your visions. I know you doubt that, but trust me, they were meant for you."

"But, Doyle -"

"He did his part, but your life was following a very specific path there, sugarcake, and this is it."

Cordelia frowned and looked down at her hands.

"Lorne, believe me, there was no plan in my life before I came here."

He reached over and covered her hands with his own.

"Do you really think that?"

"Oh I was, so shallow. I mean, the most important thing in my life was getting the most expensive and one of a kind clothes as possible. Looking perfect and making sure everyone knew it."

"You were shallow, but didn't you find out about, well, all of this, while you still had the money?"

He gestured around them and she frowned. Wesley nodded.

"You did. Back in Sunnydale, you were still very much, er, Queen Cordelia. Yet, you helped Buffy and the others. You didn't need to, no one would have thought any less of you than they already did if you simply walked away. Especially since the truth is. . ."

She sighed.

"The truth is we were never friends. Or accepted. Buffy and the others, they kind of just put up with the both of us, but they never really needed or wanted us around."

Lorne chucked under her chin.

"You see, that my dear, was your first test."

"Test?"

"Sure, you think the PTB are going to give these visions to just anyone? No siree! There's a few tests and _you_ passed them all. The first was helping while you were still able to disappear into the normal world. You could have turned your back on all of this and just been, well, "

"A spoiled brat?"

He shrugged to show he didn't mean it as an insult but Cordelia understood. She took a breath.

"Okay so I'm supposed to have the visions. Anything else?"

"Well, then there were a few more times you could have given them up, even if you didn't know it."

Spike growled then.

"Lindsey."

Lorne looked up at him and nodded.

"You didn't think that was a test for just you did you, peaches?"

Spike blinked then looked at Cordelia and lowered his head, shoving hands in his pockets again. Lorne gave Cordelia a smile.

"Anyway, all I can really say is this is your destiny sweetcheeks. You'll have to follow it through. Stay strong, and I know you'll make it. It's not many humans that do, but you've made it farther than any I've ever seen."

Faith sat up a bit and winced, she smacked Wesley's hand away.

"So wait, it's kind of like being a slayer then? She's, just destined, stuck? But she's lived longer than any others so it's okay?"

Lorne held up a finger.

"You're only partly right there, cupcake. She's destined, and she's lived longer, done more as well, but she has plenty more to do. If you all have a little, excuse the pun, but faith in her, things will work out."

Wesley removed his glasses.

"I take it what you are trying to say, without of course giving it all away, is that this may not be the death sentence the medical records would have us believe?"

"Bingo! Now, I can't say what twists and turns are in store before you can all breathe that sigh of relief, but I can say that if anyone can get through them, it's our Princess."

Cordelia's chest lifted and she smiled. Feeling a bit of relief for the first time since she got the letter. She gave Lorne a big hug.

"Thank you."

He softened and patted her back before whispering to her.

"As for your personal destiny, you're going to have to tell him, we both know he's not going to make the first move. Even though he feels the same way."

She blinked and pulled back.

"Um, I'm just going to grab a drink, then I'll be back and we can figure out how we tell Angel."

"Poof's not gonna be 'appy. Doesn' like the not knowin'."

"Indeed."

Spike and Lorne were somber again as they started thinking on how to do this. Cordelia got up and Lorne and Faith both yelled out orders.

"A refill, sweet stuff?"

"Can I _please_ have a soda?"

Cordy laughed, she knew that Wes had been limiting her and so nodded and headed to the kitchen. Spike walked over to sit by Lorne and leaned forward to talk to Wesley.

"Don' think 'e's gonna go for this. Gonna want answers, yeah?"

"True, but it's still much better news than anticipated."

"Hey."

Spike and Wes glanced up and went to reply then stopped. Spike was up immediately, on the defensive in front of the large hulking demon. For his part, the demon put hands up defensively.

"What, watch the welcome wagon there. The Powers sent me."

Spike was in game face and growled. Lorne stood up.

"No, it's all right Peaches. He's telling the truth."

Wesley stood up slowly and held a hand behind him to keep Faith down.

"Very well, then what are you doing here?"

"Oh, well, the champion, your boss? He had a little talk with the powers and they came to a sort of agreement I guess. All I know is it's going to be me that gets stuck with the paperwork."

Wesley knew better than to think this was automatically good news. He narrowed his eyes and stepped closer.

"What, _sort_ of agreement?"

"Sorry guys. Just here to do my job."

Cordelia walked back in with the drinks and stopped wide eyed.

"Okay are we not attacking this one then?"

"He was sent by the Powers, pumpkin. We're trying to figure out for what."

Skip turned and tried for a smile, difficult as most of him seemed to be made of rock or metal.

"Hey, I'm Skip."

Cordelia nodded.

"Right, hello Skip. I'm Cordelia and this is. . . "

"Sorry about this."

Skip reached out and grabbed her forehead, her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she dropped the drinks falling over unconscious. Spike jumped for him but Skip just backhanded him aside.

"Hey, just doing my job here guys. The champion doesn't want her as his seer anymore. She's got things she has to do so she'll just, sleep. Sort of. Until a new champion is ready for a seer. This one is working alone I guess. So uh, it was nice to meet you all."

He gave a small wave and disappeared. As soon as he was gone Wesley went over to Cordelia and checked her over.

"She's breathing."

Lorne frowned.

"If the Powers sent him, it wasn't to kill her. But, "

"But wha'? Someone best be explainin' yeah?"

Spike groaned and got up from where he'd been tossed. Rubbing at the back of his head he looked at Cordelia then to Lorne. Lorne frowned and got up from the couch.

"Well, you know that story about Sleeping Beauty?"

Wesley's eyes went wide.

"Oh good lord, she'll be like this for a hundred years?"

"Maybe? It all kind of depends."

"On what?"

"Well, on Angel. If he decided he didn't want her as his seer, then she can't continue on her path until someone does want her."

Spike went to pick her up. He adjusted her in his arms and glared at Lorne.

"She _is_ wanted!"

Lorne sat down and rubbed at his forehead with a groan.

"This totally takes everything off track."

Wes frowned, but then looked at Faith. They couldn't just wait. They didn't have to. The doors opened and Angel came in. He stopped as all eyes went to him.

"What happened?"

"You tell us you poof! Powers sent some demon at 'er! Knocked 'er out cold like some damn fairy tale!"

Angel shook his head.

"No, I went to see the Powers, but she's supposed to be safe. They said they were going to prevent the visions."

Wesley was capable of remaining calm above all things. At least he looked like it. Faith winced as he spoke because she knew better. That very cold, very controlled voice was dangerous.

"If you had bothered to wait for the reading, you would have learned that Cordelia is _meant _to be a seer. She passed several tests in her own life to get here."

"To get here and _die_ Wesley!"

"Well, not, necessarily, Angel cakes."

Angel finally looked at Lorne.

"What?"

"I, can't really give away the ending and all of that but, she was following her own path. She's stronger than you think and well, I didn't see death."

Angel's face fell. He closed his eyes as he muttered.

"Affecting my destiny and denying her, hers."

Wesley put his glasses back on.

"Come again?"

Angel opened his eyes slowly.

"I just, wanted to make sure she didn't die. That she wasn't in pain any more. Not for me. Not for my redemption. The Powers warned me, they said I'd be changing my destiny and denying her, hers."

Wesley just nodded, but Spike glared.

"An' that wasn' a hint?"

Faith stood up and shook her head at Wesley before he could say anything.

"So what do we do now? Can Angel just tell them he changed his mind?"

Lorne stood up quickly and waved his hands nervously.

"Oh no, that is _not_ what you want to be doing. No offense but, now, we're stuck with figuring out how to fix this ourselves."

Wesley glanced to Spike.

"Right, Spike, take her to her room for now. I'm going to call Giles, he has, a bit more experience with these kinds of things. Any information you may have on this demon Skip and on Cordelia's condition would be appreciated, Lorne."

Faith went to follow Spike.

"I'll take first shift with Cordelia."

"Right, an' I'll hit th' underground for information."

Angel glanced around.

"What do I do? What do you need Wes?"

Wesley stopped at the door of the office and looked at him.

"I believe you've done enough. As for what we need, what we all need, but most especially Cordelia, is for you to trust us, and work _with_ us."

He turned and headed into the office. Angel looked to Lorne who came over to clap him on the back.

"Sorry there champ. He's right. You need to give them all more credit."

"I was trying to save her."

"At any cost."

"Yes!"

"Would she ask you to?"

Angel opened his mouth to answer then stopped. He hung his head and Lorne gave him a reassuring smile.

"It's never too late, champ."

He glanced upstairs and then followed Wesley into the office. Angel looked after him, then headed upstairs.

**AA**

**A/N:** The song Cordelia sings is _I Know Who I Am_ by Leona Lewis.**  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to Joss Whedon and _Angel _the series.

**Synopsis:** This is the third story in the Soul series I am working on. In order the stories are _The Price of a Soul_, _The Judging of a Soul_, and now _The Weight of a Soul._ The Council is having it's own inner-struggles but have been forced to stop their pursuit of Faith. Just as they are breathing a sigh of relief, once member of Council is killed and sends a package to the team that has caught them all by surprise.

**Chapter Four  
**

Angel had taken over for Faith. He'd had a long talk with Cordelia. Well, it was more of him talking and her laying there as though asleep. It was a definite change in positions for the both of them. All those times he'd wished she would be quiet and now all he wanted was for her to sit up and argue with him. Yell at him for it. Anything. But she didn't. Spike came and checked in, more or less kicking him out and so he headed back downstairs. The office was quiet so he knocked and opened the door. Wesley was sitting at his desk with Faith propped on the edge and Lorne leaned back against the wall.

"Anything?"

Wesley glanced up. Lorne looked around and then excused himself, slipping passed Angel to the stairs. Faith shrugged, her only comment and a way of speaking up for Angel's participation. Wesley rubbed at his face and sat up more.

"Well, Spike found a possible answer. Should we be able to transfer the visions from Cordelia to another, then she would wake and the person who took the visions would then be incapacitated."

Angel nodded and came in to sit in front of the desk.

"So we would just need a volunteer?"

Faith almost winced and lowered her face. Wesley frowned.

"We dismissed that as a viable alternative. However, Willow is on her way here. She and Giles believe that she may have a spell to help."

Ange's brow furrowed.

"Why are we dismissing Spike's information again?"

Faith stepped in, so much as she went to answer and put a hand over on Wesley's arm.

"Because it means putting someone else into a coma. She wouldn't go for that and we know it."

Wesley stood up and grabbed his glasses.

"I believe I'll head upstairs to get a few hours rest before Willow arrives."

He gave Faith a quick smile and she rose to kiss him before he took off. She watched him head for the stairs and nod to Spike as the other man headed for the basement. Faith waited until Spike was back out of view before she sighed and looked at Angel again.

"Look, you missed a lot, with that reading. It kind of caught us all off guard."

"I know, I know, the visions are hers."

"More than you know champ."

He frowned at her.

"All right, then tell me."

Faith sighed, then sat back down on the corner of the desk.

"Okay well, what's the one thing we all _actually_ have in common?"

Angel had to think a moment, they were all quite different, but then it hit him and his shoulders slumped.

"Sunnydale."

"Bingo! And hey, did _any_ of us fit in there? No, of course not, but see we gave up. In some way, we all gave up. Hell I gave up on them because I was afraid they were about to give up on me. You left because. . . "

"I got it Faith."

She leaned towards him, hands on her knees.

"No, you don't. That's what Lorne was telling us. It was a test, for her. She didn't have to help them, ever. We were all stuck in the middle of it, but she wasn't, she could have had nothing but normal if she wanted. I mean, I never cared. In Sunnydale, the stuck up cheerleader was the last thing on my mind, but after her reading I started to think about it. She was always, out of place. No one wanted her there, she sure as hell didn't seem to be helping a lot, but she still stuck around."

He raised his eyes to meet hers.

"She choose to stay, to help even when she didn't need to. They were, _preparing_, her for this. To make sure that she would want to help if she got them."

Faith nodded and sat back up, arms crossed over her chest.

"She's as stuck now as any of us. If you were meant to be a souled vampire fighting for the Powers and I'm meant to be a slayer, she's . . . "

"Meant to be a seer."

She shrugged.

"Destiny's a bitch."

Angel gave her a crooked, albeit genuine, grin.

"Thanks Faith. I think, I should go see how Spike's doing."

Faith jumped up after him.

"Hey one more thing!"

Angel stopped and turned back to look at her.

"He's in love with her, I know."

"Yeah, well. . . what about you?"

She was going to mention that Cordelia, had her heart set on another vampire but the look on Angel's face told her it wasn't something she should be talking about. Angel shrugged and continued towards the basement. Faith let him leave and went about to get things cleaned up, figuring coffee was going to be needed, again.

**AA**

Spike was hammering away at the swing bag, needing to get frustration out in some way. Sure he heard Angel approaching, he just didn't care. So he continued to punch at the bag. Angel entered the room and stood in the corner watching. He'd have to talk first so he gave a short nod.

"I heard you found something."

Spike spared him a glance.

"Didn' find nothin', poof."

"Faith said, "

"Ain't nothin' usable! Should know that yourself, 'course, shoulda known not t' try takin' them visions from 'er too."

Angel snarled at him, but Spike kept punching at the bag.

"Know what really burns though? I'd do it in a second. Take them visions, let 'er wake up. Didn' matter if they killed me or not. Problem is, she won' know, or care. All 'cause she's in love wit' a poof like you!"

He nearly broke the bag then and Angel was shocked out of his snarl.

"Me? She, she can't be. I screwed up before with. . . "

Spike laughed and stopped the bag from spinning and looked at him.

"What, you think 'cause you ran off fo' the slayer, again, she'd give up on you? She's not th' givin' up type."

"No. No I guess she's not."

Spike nodded to the bag, held it for him and Angel stripped off his coat to come over and let out some of his own frustrations. After a few punches he looked at Spike.

"You're right. She asked us not to take the visions. She tried explaining, but I didn't listen to her."

"Not gonna say we wasn' all more an' a li'l upset. Taught me somethin' though."

"What, me going to the powers?"

Spike shrugged, then winced at a particularly hard hit and Angel gave a small shrug of apology.

"Yeah well, was always a bit jealous o' you poof. Never seemed t' have t' work at anythin'. Got that fresh start wit' just havin' a soul. Never 'ad t' earn it. People jus trusted ya. Slayer an' her crowd. Cheerleader told me I could be a good man, even wit'out the soul. Thing is, now I know I can be a better man. Cause I wouldn' o' taken her visions when she made it clear what they meant t' her. An' I wouldn' even 'ave considered puttin' up another life in her stead."

Angel hit the bag hard that time, on purpose, and it had Spike faltering in his stance.

"Well I'm so glad to have helped, but you have no idea Spike. You have no soul, so whatever decisions you make, they have no bearing on how you feel. Everything I have ever done weighs on me! No matter how much I try to do to make up for it, that weight doesn't go away, it doesn't lessen. You have no idea, and, I couldn't add her death to that. I couldn't add that and survive."

Spike let go of the bag. Angel hung his head and so Spike rolled his shoulders. He wouldn't argue the point, he might disagree but Angel was right, he had no soul so how was he to know? If anything it looked like Angel felt a bit better for the work out though.

"Might not understand th' weight o' it. But I do understand more than you think. She's different. I understood th' attraction to th' slayer. She seems like she's full o' light, but still comes from th' darkness, like us. But Buffy. . ."

Angel raised his head and nodded.

"But Buffy can't reconcile it. She tries to separate her life, the dark and the light. Like living with two identities. But sometimes, you can't do that."

Spike smirked.

"Now th' cheerleader. She don' hide, or separate. She jus' brings th' light wit' her."

Angel answered his smile. They must have been down there longer than they thought because they heard someone clear their throat and turned to look at the stairs. Willow smiled and gave a weak smile.

"Hey guys, um, Faith said to tell you I'm here so to, uh, get your butts upstairs?"

She was glancing between the two as if still a little nervous from having talked to Faith. Seeing Spike didn't make her feel any more comfortable. Angel gave her a nod.

"We'll be right there."

Willow smiled and headed back upstairs. Angel glanced to Spike.

"We good?"

Spike snorted.

"Meanin' I'm not gonna kick your poof arse fo' this mess? Yeah. But don' think I"m outta th' picture."

Angel smirked.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

**AA**

By the time the two vampires headed upstairs, Willow and Wesley were going over a book in earnest. They looked at each other then to Faith who was standing a few feet away. She shrugged.

"Lorne is watching Cordy. I don't know, something you two said triggered Red there. She and Wes have been just talking a mile a minute. I don't get any of it."

Willow popped her head up.

"Go get Cordelia! She's a seer? Really?"

"Willow."

Wesley chided and Willow shook her head.

"Sorry, sorry. Just, a little weird. Okay go get her, Wes and I will set up the circle!"

"I, really don't know if I can do this."

"I'll be right here Wes, it's not hard, I'll do the magic working."

Wes nodded then went to the office to get a few things. Angel and Spike both moved to the stairs but finally Spike growled and backed off letting Angel go get her. Faith gave him a smile and tilted her head towards the office. By the time Angel came back down, Cordelia in his arms and Lorne trailing behind, Wesley and Willow had a circle drawn and had directed Faith and Spike where to sit. Angel looked at Wes who glanced up from making his last marks.

"Place her in the center."

Angel set her down carefully and Willow was right there to grab his arm and pull him to a spot outside of the circle to sit.

"Wait, what's going on?"

"Beats us, poof. Jus' followin' directions, yeah?"

Willow placed a card down in front of him.

"Just turn it over when Wesley points at you and read it."

Once things were set Wesley took his place and glanced around. Lorne stood there looking nervous.

"You guys sure about this? I mean, this is heavy mojo."

Willow nodded.

"Sure, you and I will stay here to make sure nothing disturbs them."

Faith finally raised her hand.

"Right, and doesn't disturb us from what?"

Wesley put the book in his lap and cleared his throat.

"Well, with this spell we will, in essence, combine ourselves. We will, enter her mind and by combining our strengths, be able to bring her back."

"Say that again English?"

Willow rolled her eyes at Spike.

"If what you guys say is right then she's a seer, and it's her destiny to get the visions right? So if she's meant to be here, you should be able to bring her back."

Angel frowned.

"But the Powers. . . "

Lorne understood.

"The Powers can't alter a destiny, Angelcakes. They only delayed it by putting her in a big sleep. You wake her up, and the worst they can do is put her back under."

Faith smiled.

"And if we just keep waking her up, they have to give up some time."

Willow nodded.

"Right so are we ready?"

The all looked around at each other then nodded. Wesley cleared his throat and began. He reached in front of him and turned over the card.

"Sophus...the mind."

He nodded to Faith, who turned her card over and read it.

"Spiritus...the spirit."

In turn it went to Angel.

"Manus...the hand."

Spike reached for his card and turned it.

"Animus...the heart."

Wesley reached for another card and read it before placing it at Cordelia's head.

"Luminos...the light."

He looked at them all, and then down at the book in his lap as he finished the incantation.

"We enjoin that we may inhabit the vessel. The light, daughter of Pythia, first of the Oracles. We implore thee. Begin the ancient rights. Shroud us in the light. Admit us. Bring us to the vessel. Take us . . . now!"

No one had a chance to ask if it worked. A unified intake of air and their shoulders all snapped back, heads fallen and eyes gone milky as they stared up at the ceiling. They didn't move and Lorne looked at Willow who was looking through her book nervously.

"Okay, I think that means it worked."

Lorne narrowed his eyes then glanced back to her.

"Um, so you're sure this is supposed to bring them all to the Princess?"

"Who? Oh! Cordelia! Yeah, um, why."

Lorne shook his head.

"Because I can see all their auras, all in one place, and it's not her head, it's Angel's."

"Oh. Um, that's not good is it?"

Willow looked up at Lorne who looked just as confused.

**AA**

Angel felt pulled, sucked from his body but not in the same way he'd lost his soul. It was softer, kinder. It felt like being lifted and drifting. It was gauzy white, and felt as airy as being in the clouds. When the fuzziness was gone he found himself standing, alone. He was confused, he thought they were all supposed to be together, to be finding Cordelia.

"Hey."

He turned quickly and there was a giant demon there. One that the others might recognize, but he didn't. So he stepped back and bent at the knees to better prepare. Skip, just rolled his eyes.

"Okay so you guys aren't much for the hospitality are you?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm Skip, pleased to meet you."

Skip held out a hand and smiled, glad to get back to some sort of normalcy. Angel looked from his hand to him and then relaxed and shook his hand.

"Angel. So uh, what are we doing here Skip?"

"This? Well, when you fired your seer seems she talked to the Powers. Convinced them to give you another chance."

"Chance at what?"

Skip stepped aside and Cordelia grinned at him. Wearing something, like what the Powers had been wearing but all white and cream colored.

"Another chance at living with a soul. Instead of just surviving with one."

Angel's mouth drops open and he doesn't even focus on the words, only at the person in front of him. He rushes forward and pulls her into a hug. Cordelia laughed and hugged him back.

"Hey sorry I'm late, had to get the others situated. Oh and they're ready for you Skip."

Skip nodded.

"Right, see you guys later."

With that he was gone and Angel was looking Cordelia over, he frowned.

"Situated? Cor, we're here to get you back."

She stepped back and shook her head.

"No, you're not. You are all here for you, Angel. For this."

"I, don't understand."

Cordelia smiled sadly and nodded. Lifting a hand and brushes her fingers along his cheek.

"I know. We try, to show you, to help you. Hey, god knows I've done everything _I_ can to get you out among the living! So I guess, giving up on me, was kind of the last straw. The Powers let me have this. A chance to get you to understand."

"Cor, you aren't making any sense."

Cordelia rolls her eyes and reaches into the folds of her gown to pull out the card that Wesley had laid out before. The Light.

"Well duh! I've been asleep Angel, not dead. So now I'm here officially. As your guide."

Angel still doesn't understand and he's actually getting more annoyed then anything and crosses his arms as he looks down at her.

"My guide to what?"

She slapped at his arms and then reached for his hand before turning to walk away.

"To being alive, Angel. The good, and the bad, the pain and the laughter. All of it. I'm going to be your guide, to living."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to Joss Whedon and _Angel _the series.

**Synopsis:** This is the third story in the Soul series I am working on. In order the stories are _The Price of a Soul_, _The Judging of a Soul_, and now _The Weight of a Soul._ The Council is having it's own inner-struggles but have been forced to stop their pursuit of Faith. Just as they are breathing a sigh of relief, once member of Council is killed and sends a package to the team that has caught them all by surprise.

**Chapter Five**

Angel let her pull him along and somewhere along the way, they were on the streets of L.A. again. He looked around then stopped short and pulled her hand to stop her.

"Cor, what is going on?"

She stopped and looked at him before dropping his hand. She walked up to him and put a hand on his chest. Stared at it a moment and furrowed her brow. Tilting her head up she looked at him.

"Can you feel it? Your soul? Mine is, just part of me I guess, but I've never been without it to know what it feels like."

Angel found himself staring at her hand.

"Yeah. I can feel it."

His voice came out strained and she just watched his face.

"What does it feel like?"

Angel swallowed and covered her hand with his own.

"It's, heavy. Like a blanket of weight. It's a constant reminder of what I've done, what I'm trying to make up for. It's, "

"A burden?"

He didn't want to admit it, because he didn't want to lose it but he nodded. Cordelia sucked in a long breath and pulled her hand away.

"Well, that's what this test is for. It's for your soul, Angel."

He immediately missed the warmth of her hand and only reluctantly let go of her hand. His eyes jerked up at her words.

"They are going to take my soul? Don't they know what that means? That will bring back Angelus!"

Cordelia sighed and reached for his face, cupping it in her hands.

"That's the point Angel. You _are_ Angelus. It's not like Jeckyll and Hyde! At least it's not supposed to be. I get it, you did some really bad stuff, and sure it's easier to believe that it wasn't you. At least in some way, but you can't just put all your bad thoughts, bad feelings into Angelus and all the good hero stuff in Angel. You are one person. You can't just, separate your life like that. Learn to accept it all as part of you, and be a whole person."

He wanted to argue it but realized what she was saying, was exactly what he and Spike had been saying about Buffy. He closed his eyes and reached for her wrists to pull her hands away.

"I can't. It's hard enough to know what I'm capable of without a soul to think that it's not the soul holding me back. . . "

She shook her head. He wasn't ready yet.

"Is exactly what you need to know. To remember. It's _you_ Angel, not a soul, not a demon, in the end, it's up to you. I need you to remember that okay?"

She sounded, distant and her hands were gone, he opened his eyes to find her fading away. Panic struck he reached for her.

"Cordelia!"

"Time to start, big guy. Make me proud!"

**AA**

Willow paged through the book and shook her head.

"I don't understand this! It was supposed to bring them to Cordelia. You know, so they could bring her back."

Lorne stared at Angel and blinked before turning his face away.

"All I know is it's a bit too bright there to be just our Angelcakes. Something big is up, shortcake. I think the Powers may have just hijacked our plan."

"So, what do we do?"

Lorne walked over and threw an arm around her shoulders.

"I'd say, we have a drink. Wait it out, get to know each other. Do you sing?"

**AA**

Angel hadn't known which way to go so headed down the street and through an alley that he knew would bring him back to the Hyperion, only to hit a dead end. He frowned and turned to go back the way he came to run into another dead end and Skip. He sighed heavily.

"Skip."

Skip lifted a hand in greeting.

"Hey. Seer says you're ready. So time to get things moving buddy. So check your pocket."

Angel stared at him like he was speaking another language.

"What?"

"Your pocket, your shirt pocket. Go ahead, check it."

Angel reached into his pocket and finding something frowned, pulling out the card he'd had earlier. Skip grinned.

"I love that part."

"Okay it's my card. So what?"

"So that's the hand, manus. It means that you are the hand, the warrior, the champion. Your the muscle."

Angel shook his head and replaced the card.

"Thanks for the update."

"The point is, you have to be more than that. Right now you're living like that's all you have. The job. If you want that shan shu thing, you need to be a more, well rounded person."

"You're kidding right?"

"Afraid not. It's all about what kind of person you are going to be, not what kind of vampire. So we start with the first lesson."

Angel opened his mouth to ask what lesson when Skip stood aside and Faith smirked at him.

"Faith?"

"Hey there champ. I drew the short straw."

Skip cleared his throat and looked at her. Faith rolled her eyes and pulled a card out of her back pocket.

"I represent the spirit, the fire in a soul that keeps moving forward, always passionate blah blah blah."

Skip frowned and then shook his head.

"Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me. Okay well I'll leave you two kids to it."

With that he stepped back and was gone. Faith shoved the card back into her pocked and grinned at a confused looking Angel.

"Sweet, he's gone. Let's hit the road!"

"Faith, what exactly is going on?"

She shrugged and walked up to him.

"Look, I didn't get it either but Cordy explained it really well. I'm not a big words person so I'll just put it plain okay? You are in a rut. You aren't even trying to live."

"I'm a vampire Faith, dead? Which means that I'm not alive."

She punched at his shoulder.

"You were a hell of a lot more alive then I was, but you're fading away. Dude, it's like you're not enjoying anything anymore. If nothing else enjoy the fight. So come on!"

She turned and headed out the alley that was no longer full of dead ends. He could go in either direction. Towards the hotel, or follow Faith. He glanced to the hotel, knowing he'd not find any answers there anyway, and followed Faith. He jogged to catch up.

"So that's your big plan? We go fight things? You know none of this is real right?"

She grinned at him over her shoulder.

"So? You want to argue real? I didn't think I'd ever have anything real. A normal life, a normal family. There are a hell of a lot of things that I'll never have. Normal is at the top of that list. There's a hell of a lot more things I'll never be. I got that lesson in Sunnydale."

"Faith. . ."

"No, it's fine. You know? I'm five by five. The point is, I'm not going to ever be the 'good slayer', or daughter, or friend. I'm not going to have any of that. I wanted it, or thought I did. It made me, bitter, hateful. I hurt people. A lot. I'm not saying that goes away, I get that it doesn't. I just also get that that's not _all_ of me. Not anymore. I was trying to find a way to fit into a mold. One I thought, I was supposed to fit. I figured once I did, the world would finally pay up what it owed me. The world, doesn't owe me shit. It's not fair, it's not nice. Not everyone is going to learn that lesson and _that's_ not fair. But I'm dealing."

Angel smiled and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Faith, you have come an amazingly long way in a very short time."

She grinned up at him.

"Yeah I know. I'm head of the class when it comes to bad girls going good. I thought all I was good for was screwing up, killing things. You showed me that I could channel that. There's not much I'm good at, or good for Angel, to find a way to do what I'm good at, what I enjoy _and_ be able to help people? Who gets to do that?"

He looked over at her and slowly started to smirk.

"I showed you that huh?"

She rolled her eyes and elbowed him.

"Like you need a bigger head. The point is, you should enjoy it! It's not about trying to get to the end and that shanshu shit, it's about the journey. As corny as that is. So, enjoy it!"

Angel lowered his head and pulled his hand away, shoving it into the pocket of his duster.

"I wish I could. I dont' see them anymore, Faith. The people we help, their faces fade away and all I see are the people I've hurt. I keep hurting. I took away their lives, spirits, joy,and they didn't deserve that. So if I took it away from people that deserved it, why should I deserve any joy?"

Faith shrugs.

"Beats me! You did some bad shit, well guess what I've done some bad shit too! The point is, people who don't deserve it get the good life. And people that deserve better get shit on. We can't fix everything, we can't save everyone. But it's important to enjoy what we _do_ have while we have it."

"That sounds. . . "

"Cheesy as hell, yeah I know. Here's the short version okay? You and me? We aren't meant for good things, or long happy lives. So, we better enjoy what we can while we can and work our asses off to make things better while we're here. Got it?"

He paused, then nodded.

"Yeah, I think I do. Thanks."

"No problem, now can we. . . "

She stopped as she heard a scream, then looked up at him.

"You game?"

Angel wasn't so sure they should be enjoying it but then again, they were still doing the good work either way. He rolled his shoulders and gave her a smile before taking off after the scream.

"Keep up slayer."

**AA**

Angel had felt better after a good fight. Real or not he had actually let go, enjoyed it, something he hadn't done in a while. Fighting was something that was required, and since learning that it lessened the pain of the vision he wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. Faith had said her goodbyes and he'd headed back the way he'd come. After a few feet, things faded away and he was back to the nothingness he'd been standing in earlier.

"Have a good time?"

Rubbing at a sore jaw he glanced up to see Cordy glaring at him. Or at least trying to, the twinkle in her eye gave her away. He grinned back at her.

"Actually, I did, thanks."

Her lips twitched up into a smile and she nodded.

"Good, now come here and let me see the damage."

He walked over even as he was complaining.

"It's not real you know. It doesn't even hurt much."

"Things are real enough here, Angel."

She warned lightly and grabbed at some extra fabric draped around her wrist and dabbed at the cut on his lip. Angel caught the tone though and reached for her wrist.

"Cor? What do you mean it's real enough?"

She tried to go back to his cut but he didn't let go and she sighed.

"If we fail, then we fail. Faith is fine now, can wake up at any time, and you, you are on the right track. So that's all that matters."

Angel frowned and grabbed her chin.

"No, that's not all that matters, what does this all mean? For you?"

"So it's, kind of a test for me too. I'm supposed to help you. Not just with the visions, with everything."

Angel's face softened.

"You do, Cor. You help me, more than you know."

"Not enough. You still don't understand. So, that's why this test. Angel, if you pass you - uhhh."

She winced and doubled over. Angel grabbed her arms to keep her standing up.

"Cor?"

Breathing hard she finally calmed and stood up herself. She tried for a soft smile.

"Okay, I guess some things I'm not supposed to tell you just yet."

Angel growled and tucked the hair that fell in her face behind her ear.

"Maybe if they just told me themselves. . . "

She raised a hand to his chest and smiled.

"Angel, it's okay. They have their reasons. So, now let me patch you up before you have to move on."

"Move on?"

"Well duh! That was just part of it."

When he still looked confused she reached into his pocket and pulled out the cards. There were two there now. She held them both up.

"This is you."

Angel nodded.

"The hand, right. Skip, sort of went over that."

"So you heard the spiel, servant of the Powers, instrument for justice, blah blah blah. So you remember that there was that _little_ prophecy?"

"My, shanshu."

She grinned back at him.

"Right, that. The part that says you'll be mortal and live a mortal life. Like the rest of us boring normal people."

Angel found himself smiling, he knew she was poking fun but was okay with that.

"So that's part of it?"

"Only the biggest part! Angel, you've been working towards it, fighting for it like it's a number to reach, or a goal to achieve. You wait, and assume living your life starts when you shanshu. Like your redemption and living are separate things. One starts where the other leaves off."

He was getting a little frustrated actually, with all of this. He got that he was mistaken about things, and needed to make some changes, but things were harder than anyone could realize. Reaching for the cards he looked at them, front and back, before putting them back in his pocket.

"So I'm supposed to learn to live."

Cordelia smiled and started wiping at his face again, causing a small wince.

"None of us are perfect Angel. We are all missing things, but together, we're stronger. So everyone is going to help you. At least _try_ and bring you out of that broody shell."

He stepped closer again and reached for her hand, his thumb tracing over her palm.

"So what are you missing, Cor?"

He was very close all of a sudden and while he wasn't holding her hand tightly she couldn't seem to pull it away.

"Angel -"

"No, we've already figured out that I'm missing spirit. Did my part. Now it's your turn. What do you need?"

She debated telling him, telling him a lot of things, but it was definitely not time. So she just smiled and raised her other hand to brush at his forehead.

"Right now, I just need you to get through this. And to trust me. Okay?"

"I trust you."

Her smile grew, breaking any left over tension quickly.

"Good, so if you need me, you'll just have to call. Got it?"

He blinked as she wiped at his chin then stepped back.

"Wait, are you going somewhere?"

"Not far, it's just, not my turn yet. Not really. Besides, you two can handle this on your own, right?"

He was more confused and let her hand drop as he looked around.

"We two, who?"

He turned back and she was gone.

"Cor?"

He stared after her, he could still feel her warmth and pulse under his thumb. She was there, she was just, gone now. He sighed and shook his head.

"People come and go so strangely here."

"Ah, a quote, often attributed to Lewis Carroll."

Angel whipped around and grinned.

"Wes!"

Wesley nodded and his face fell into surprise as Angel suddenly strode over and hugged him.

"Er, yes well, it's, good to see you as well."

Angel finally let go then looked around. They were suddenly in a very very large library.

"What's this?"

Wesley adjusted his glasses.

"Oh I do believe this is my turn. I do hope you are ready, there is so much to learn."

He turned and headed down an aisle of books. Angel groaned and looked up whispering under his breath.

"Help? Cordelia?"

**AA**

**A/N:** Okay so shorter chapter, but it would have been way long if I did both Faith and Wes! So you will have to wait! The next chapter will be Wesley and Spike. **  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to Joss Whedon and _Angel _the series.

**Synopsis:** This is the third story in the Soul series I am working on. In order the stories are _The Price of a Soul_, _The Judging of a Soul_, and now _The Weight of a Soul._ The Council is having it's own inner-struggles but have been forced to stop their pursuit of Faith. Just as they are breathing a sigh of relief, once member of Council is killed and sends a package to the team that has caught them all by surprise.

**Chapter Six  
**

Wesley finally stopped in front of a larger stack and wheeled over a ladder. Heading about half way up, which was three feet from the ground, he started looking through the books. Angel watched and finally, resigned, he sighed.

"All right Wes. Why are we here?"

Wesley turned to look at him and grinned, heading back down the ladder he handed Angel the books.

"I thought you would never ask!"

Reaching into his breast pocket he pulled out the now very familiar card.

"Sophus, the mind. Without mind joined to body one will never -"

"Wes! Just, tell me what happens next?"

Wesley frowned and looked at the card then at Angel before shrugging and replacing it into his breast pocket.

"One of the ways to be a part of the world around you is to study it. I'm certainly not saying I get all those, pop references that Cordelia does, but one should have _some_ idea of the world in which they live."

Wesley started walking again so Angel followed, arms still full of books.

"Wes, I know about the world."

"Ahh, parts of it yes. You know of the dangers, the hidden battles, the darkness. But what do you know of the mundane? The every day?"

Wesley stopped and turned causing Angel to almost run right into him and drop the books. Wesley seemed to not even notice and removed his glasses for cleaning as he spoke.

"Did you know, that even when we do not have a case I am studying? I go to Caritas and learn other languages, learn of other dimensions, demons. I'm trying to always expand my knowledge of the world around me and those that inhabit it."

Angel looked down at the books before answering. It was true he saw Wesley studying quite a bit but unless he knew the case that he was currently working on he didn't bother to ask. Was he really that distant from what was going on around him?

"No I, didn't know that. You go to Caritas alone? To, to drink?"

Wesley raised a brow at his question.

"At times I drink yes, at times I go alone. Sometimes I find Spike there, other times Faith has come with me."

Angel shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I, never noticed."

Wesley smiled sadly and replaced his glasses.

"Yes well, I believe that is the point. What you know about someone, about the world around you, is directly related to how much a part of the world and of their lives you are. Tell me, when you and Buffy were dating, what was your song?"

Angel blinked.

"Song?"

"Yes I believe most couples, especially those in high school, had a song they designated as _their_ song."

"We, never had one. Not that I knew of."

"Well then, her favorite band? Book? Movie?"

Angel just kept shaking his head. He realized how little he knew about anything.

"I, really didn't get to know Buffy. It was just, "

Wesley waved a hand not wanting to get into the romance part of things.

"That's, fine. You see though Angel, you were then starting to be part of the world around you, and yet, you still kept your distance. Still stayed out of the world, apart."

"They were high school kids, Wes, what did I have in common with them?"

Wesley started taking books from his arms and putting them on shelves behind him.

"I suppose we will never know now."

Angel frowned and glanced down, starting to hand books over to Wes to put on the shelves he stopped at one and read the back of it. Wesley paused letting him check it over.

"Find something interesting?"

Angel glanced up.

"This one. Emma. It's, Cordelia's favorite. She doesn't like to admit it, because it's considered a classic and not what people would believe she actually reads, but she does. Every year at least once."

Wesley grinned.

"And there you have learned something about the world around you. About the people in it. What else?"

Angel looked confused then understood.

"Oh, well her favorite ice cream is the mint chocolate chip. She hates country music."

He looked at Wesley a bit more of a smile.

"I know her favorite food at the take out, and I know Gunn's favorite music, about his sister, and where he lives. I know how you like your tea and coffee, and when you want which one."

Wesley folded his arms over his chest.

"So we've ascertained that you are a part of our lives, now, you need to become a part of the world around us."

Angel nodded and looked at the book in his hand.

"Hey Wes?"

"Hmmm?"

"I, know more about Cordelia then I do you."

"Yes I had noticed that."

Wesley's lips twitched but he waited.

"So what's your favorite book?"

**AA**

It was back to the nothingness, though he was left a chair. Sitting back he began to read through part of the book he had with him. He was sort of enjoying the silence, he had quite a bit to think about with all that had happened so far. So when Cordelia walked over she was quiet and sat down in front of the chair. Turned towards him she put arms over the arm of the chair.

"So you had a good talk?"

He lowered the book to his lap and looked down at her.

"I did."

Cordelia smiled.

"I'm glad. You and Wes needed some bonding time."

"You could have just sent us out to get some coffee or something. I think the dying was going a bit far."

He let his hand drift down over the side of her face. Cordelia just shrugged.

"You can be pretty thick headed."

"Cor."

She sighed and stood up offering him a hand.

"All right champ. You're almost there."

Taking her hand he stood up and let the book fall to the chair. He didn't let go of her hand.

"Almost where, I still don't think I understand what's going on."

She didn't let go either but didn't look at him.

"I told you Angel. This is for your soul."

He pulled on her hand, yanking her back to him and grabbing her chin to look at him.

"Cor."

She tried to lower her eyes but couldn't. So as usual, her emotions were right there bright as day.

"You gave up on me Angel."

Her small accusation wasn't what he'd been expecting.

"No, I just -"

"You just decided what I wanted didn't matter anymore?"

"Not if it meant you were going to die!"

"We all die Angel!"

"Not because of me! I can't take that, I, couldn't."

She seemed to take pity on him then and sighed.

"Angel, you take too much on. It's not all your fault, it's not all your burden. Even your soul you feel is a burden. It shouldn't be. You should enjoy it."

He shook his head.

"It's a curse, Cordelia."

She smiled and squeezed his hand.

"The point is, it doesn't have to be."

"I don't know how, how to make things all right."

With a shrug she started walking again pulling him with her.

"Who says you have to? Or have to alone? You keep forgetting, we are all in this together. Because we want to be. So stop thinking you are a job or a curse we are all stuck with. Okay?"

"Cor-"

She stopped and turned to look at him.

"I mean it Angel. Start letting some of this stuff sink into that thick head of yours."

She was glaring now and whether she knew it or not, she was cute when she got annoyed. His lips curved and he nodded.

"All right, I'll try."

She softened into a smile and gave a quick nod.

"Good. Because this is all just a warm up."

"Warm up?"

Cordelia licked at her bottom lip.

"Angel, your shanshu? It's not just one thing. It's not just something that suddenly happens. You are waiting for it like it's going to just happen over night one day."

Angel stopped. He had been thinking that. They all had really. That like a reward it would be just granted. Mortality.

"So, then how does it happen?"

She smiled and raised a hand to his face.

"Step by step. Piece by piece. This, is a piece. SO stop waiting, hiding from the world. You need to be a part of it."

She was fading again and he frowned reaching for her hand.

"Cor?"

"With or without us, you are part of the world around you. A big part champ."

**AA**

Angel was left alone again and while the time was good for letting things sink in, it gave him more questions than answers. He didn't like how Cordelia was insistent that he live with or without them. It was foreboding, and he didn't like that at all. She was skirting issues and he noticed, other than the first time she showed up, he hadn't seen her card. With Faith and Wes it was all about those cards. As he thought about it he reached into his breast pocket and pulled out the cards. Finding his, Manus, Faith's, Spirtus, and Wes', Sophus. As if he had to incorporate parts of them into himself, but why? Were the Powers planning on taking them away? Making him go it alone? He wanted answers before he went too far down the path that the Powers were pushing him down in this little test, but he wasn't getting them.

"So guess you don' know my favorite movie do ya?"

Angel turned around and smirking at him was Spike. Great, Spike. Just what he needed.

"Syd and Nancy?"

Spike shrugged.

"Too easy. Actually, got a thing fo' musicals. Judy Garland an' all that. But you tell anyone an' I'll deny it."

Spike quickly glared at him and Angel shrugged.

"Seems to me that means something."

"Look 'ere poof!"

He didn't get to finish as Skip cleared his throat and looked at Spike. Spike thrust a thumb back at Skip.

"Right, this bloke says 'ts my turn now."

Angel tilted his head and crossed his arms over his chest.

"And what can you teach me?"

Spike grins and pulls out his card. Skip meanwhile shakes his head and turns to leave, muttering something about no one following the script. Spike holds his card up and reads it to Angel.

"Right then, Animus, the heart."

Angel just raises a brow and gives him a look. Spike frowns and looks at the card himself.

"Yeah, thought that a bit off, meself. Think Red might've screwed it up there."

"She did not!"

Both vampires turned to find Cordelia glaring at them, hands on her hips. They looked at her, then at each other, still not understanding. Cordy huffed out a breath and walked over to take the card from Spike and slip it back into his pocket.

"Whether you like it or not, and I _know_ you don't, you two balance each other."

This time both Angel and Spike huffed out a breath and shook their head. Cordelia looked between them.

"Angel's a heart, doesn't really beat, where as Spike's beats so hard it's all he hears."

When Spike and Angel both looked at each other confused then put hands to their chest, or checked their pulse she groaned.

"It's a metaphor people!"

She walked over to Angel and poked him in the chest.

"You close off your heart, you don't open it to people or allow people in."

Angel sighed.

"I did that once, remember? It let Angelus loose."

Cordey waved a hand and turned away to head towards Spike again.

"Pfft. That was physical love and you know it. Not emotionally."

"Sayin' th' poof's a bit stunted yeah?"

Spike grinned and Angel narrowed his eyes at him. Cordy just continued.

"Okay yes you loved Buffy, sorry _love_ Buffy. We all know, the whole epic love thing, but not enough to be open with her, to really let _her_ in. You were willing to be let into her life, but never completely. You could be what you thought she needed or wanted but you weren't open with her so that she could even try and be the same for you."

Angel looked down then. It had just been, easier he thought, to be there for her, to not expect much from her. He thought it would be too much to put on her. No one really noticed his contemplative look because Cordelia was rounding on Spike, poking him in the chest now.

"Now _you_! You let too much in, you expect too much. Your problem is that you lead with your heart. Everything you do is for love. And it's good, you know, to do things for the _people_ you love, you do it for just love. The concept, the feeling. You live for it. You let it consume you, and you can't, Spike. Not anymore. You live for you, and then let love in. Not the other way around."

She smiled as his face fell and kissed his cheek. Finally she looked between them again.

"So see, you two balance each other, you live by your heart, and you don't know how to live with one. So there, now. . . discuss!"

She walked passed Angel and gave his arm a pat before disappearing. Leaving behind two vampires, both staring at their feet, and faces screwed up in concentration. It was Spike that finally broke the silence.

"So. Cheerleader always annoyin'ly right?"

Angel raised his head for a twisted smile.

"Well, she thinks she is anyway, which is just as bad."

Spike nodded and rubbed at the back of his neck.

"She's right though, yeah? I lead wit' m' heart. Wit' Dru, hell even before. It's addictive, that feelin'. I chase it, need it, makes me blood burn, till I twist it, destroy it."

Angel frowned.

"No offense, but how does that help me?"

"You twat! Maybe I work too 'ard, want 't too much, came 'ere and stayed t' fight 'cause I was 'opin' she'd love me."

"So this is because you're in love with Cordelia."

Spike growled and started to pace.

"Look, I don' know. Maybe, maybe 'm just in love wit' the idea she _could _love me. But you got it worse!"

Angel narrowed his eyes.

"Oh really?"

Spike snarled and whirled on him, poking at his chest.

"Yeah really you poof! See you got it! You got people lovin' you an' you don' let 'em in. Wes, the slayer, you don' let 'em in, you got no clue what you have! An' the cheerleader! She's as open as can be, right there for ya, an' you won' open jus' a bit an' let 'er in! Gonna lose 'er an' those excuses you got fo' your soul an' all ain't gonna make it better."

Angel let his hands fall to his side and thought to argue, his jaw ticked, but Spike calmed and reached into his pocket. He pulled out his card and slid it into Angel's pocket.

"Love hurts, yeah? Losin' it hurts. But 'ts better'n th' numb feelin' of not lettin' people love you. Whatever way they can. You don' see what you got, but some o' us would give an' arm fo' it. Stop. Wastin'. It."

Angel stared at him then down at his pocket and his jaw relaxed. He grabbed Spike and gave him a hug, then quickly let go. Leaving Spike confused.

"An' what's that fo'?"

"I'm sorry. I couldn't let go of the past, refused to see how you've changed. Whatever excuse I had, soul or not. Cordelia's right, you've, become a good man."

Spike took a step back and put his hands up.

"Don' go all crazy now. Baby steps, yeah? I'm jus' glad this ain't my test."

"Um, it sort of is."

Both turned to find Skip standing there. He shrugged.

"The Powers like to keep things hush hush. Anyway, Spike if you'll come with me? Oh Angel, you have your final test, just uh, head that way."

Spike shook his head and went to follow Skip.

"Good luck, poof."

"Same to you, William."

Spike narrowed his eyes then turned and they disappeared. Angel looked behind him and muttered something about all directions being the same here, but then started walking.

"How do I know when I'm there?"

_"We will tell you."_

_"When we are ready for you, lesser being."_

**AA**

**A/N:** Okay so Angel is learning a lot! Let's hope he actually takes some of it to heart because the final test is coming up! He could earn a fabulous reward, or lose it all. But hey, some chances are worth taking. Hmm, any ideas? Since he doesn't quite have a full deck yet, looks like the last test is going to be a doozy!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to Joss Whedon and _Angel _the series.

**Synopsis:** This is the third story in the Soul series I am working on. In order the stories are _The Price of a Soul_, _The Judging of a Soul_, and now _The Weight of a Soul._ The Council is having it's own inner-struggles but have been forced to stop their pursuit of Faith. Just as they are breathing a sigh of relief, once member of Council is killed and sends a package to the team that has caught them all by surprise.

**Chapter Seven**

Angel glanced around, still he saw nothing so he kept walking. He thought, as he walked, there wasn't much else he could be doing.

_"Turn around, lesser being."_

_"Tell us what you have learned."_

He frowned and turned, again the vast emptiness was replaced with the two siblings and a pair of thrones behind them. He looked around but it was just them.

"Where is Cordelia?"

_"That is unimportant."_

_"You refused the seer."_

Angel went to argue but instead reached into his pocket and pulled out the cards.

"This test, it involves these, and I'm missing one. Where is she?"

The twins looked to each other then nodded. Angel just watched until there was a tap at his shoulder, turning around he saw Cordelia and realized he was feeling relieved. She pulls up her card and glances over to the twins then back to Angel.

"You're right, your missing a card, but, you have to answer them first Angel. This is, the last step. You can -"

She winced and Angel grabbed her shoulders then glared at the twins.

"Why can't she tell me?"

_"It is not time yet."_

_"The test must remain pure."_

Cordelia shook her head and grabbed his arms.

"I'm okay. Just, trust me, it's worth it, Angel."

She looked up at him hoping he'd listen and he nodded.

"What I learned? Photographic memory, I could just recite everything everyone told me, but that's not it is it?"

He glanced to Cordelia and let go of her arms to turn and look at the Powers.

"I get it, I've hidden. I've dwelt in the fact that I'm not alive, waiting until I am. But I may not be mortal, human, but I'm not dead either. If I want to some day be a man, I need to live like one. Which means living a life. One that includes people. The people I care about, and care about me."

Cordelia sighed happily and nodded. Stepping to him she put a hand on his chest.

"Can you feel your soul?"

Angel covered her hand with his own. Even in this place where things were obviously not really real, he felt her hand. Felt it warm his chest, right where his heart should be.

"I can."

_"A soul is a gift."_

_"It is the light that guides you in the dark."_

Cordelia looked up at him.

"Angel, can you feel it? Your demon?"

Angel frowned.

"Angelus?"

"Angel, your soul is not a burden and Angelus is not a separate person. It's easier, sure to blame it on being another person and in a way you were. I was a different person in high school then I am now."

"Cordelia, that's different."

"How?"

"You didn't kill people!"

She shrugged.

"Maybe not physically. Angel, the point is, as long as you think of it as two different people, Angel the hero and Angelus the villain, you can't move on."

Angel closed his eyes.

"Maybe I don't deserve to move on."

Cordelia lifted her other hand to his face and waited for him to open his eyes.

"Maybe not, but that doesnt' mean you shouldn't try. People, change Angel. They grow. Some, might take longer than others."

She grinned. Angel sighed.

"So what do I need to do?"

"You need to accept that you are Angelus, that your the same people. That Angelus is who you _were_, but not who you are. Most importantly, you have to know that it's true with or without a soul."

She pulled her hand away and looked to the twins.

"But it's your choice. You can, leave now, and everything will be just like it was. Hopefully you learn a little and are closer to your shanshu, or, you can accept that Angelus is part of you and that you are deciding to change, as a person. If you can do that, you will have taken another step and be rewarded."

Angel realized she was nervous, but wasn't understanding completely why.

"What happens to you?"

_"That is none of your concern."_

_"She is a seer and has chosen to continue on that path."_

"You asked me what I learned, and I learned that I need my seer, so this ends right now if you can't tell me she comes home with me."

The two shared a look again then nodded to him.

_"Agreed."_

_"Do you wish to continue on the final task?"_

Angel nodded.

_"So be it."_

The two of them disappeared and he frowned, and turned to look at Cordelia. She smiled weakly at him.

"Cor, tell me."

She shook her head and put her card in his pocket then took his face in her hands. He could feel her shaking lightly and trying not to cry.

"You can do this Angel, I know you can."

Leaning forward she kissed him softly and whispered.

"I saw it. I know and I'm happy for you."

He was panicking even more now. He grabbed her wrists.

"Cordelia, you saw what? Tell me."

She took a breath and shook her head.

"I can't, you have to do it on your own. Listen to me, I want you to know something. I love you. I'm in love with you. No matter what, I'll always love you. Remember that for me okay? No matter what, you choose. I need to at least tell you that."

She stepped back and Angel reached for her.

"Cor I -"

He couldn't finish. Skip was right behind him and slammed an open hand against his back then pulled his hand away into a fist. Angel stumbled forward and gasped for breath, the pain was immense and all to familiar.

"No, Cor, run, my soul. . . "

She held her hands tightly in front of her and watched, raising her eyes to Skip she nodded.

"You sure you got it?"

"He'll come through. I know it."

"If you say so. Good luck."

And Skip was gone. Angel fell forward and groaned. He went still and Cordelia stared waiting.

**AA**

Lorne was pacing, watching the circle with a sharp eye. Faith had woke first, then Wesley, then Spike. They'd all had the same question, what went wrong? Each gave similar stories. They'd seen Cordelia and that Skip demon. They were there to help Angel but Cordelia wouldn't give them more information than that. Other than, to trust her. Wesley now sat nursing a cup of tea while Spike sat with his head in his hands. Faith finally kicked off the cupboard she sat on next to Willow and stood up.

"So? See anything?"

Lorne stopped and turned.

"Yeah and it's not good. I don't like this kids, I don't like this at all."

"Join th' club, mate."

Spike raised his head and looked over the two of them. He stood up and started pacing.

"So this is all some sorta test fo' the poof. What happens if 'e fails?"

"He won't."

Wesley finally put the tea aside and looked at everyone.

"What we know is that Cordelia intervened on Angel's behalf with the Powers. For what we don't know but it must have been important. she believes he can pass this, with our help. We've done our part, we must trust that he will do his."

**AA**

Cordelia didn't move, she just watched, waited for him to wake up. What she didn't know was that he was already awake. He just knew she was there and was enjoying the nerves coming off of her. Finally he groaned and rolled to the side as if still in pain. Cordelia, sure enough, came over and knealt near him.

"Cor?"

She paused, he felt the fear, he probably hadn't fooled her but he wasn't about to give up. Opening his eyes he tried for the puppy dog eyes he assumed Angel used all the time. Cordelia sighed and stood up.

"You're fine."

He grinned and leaped to his feet, adjusting his coat.

"Why thank you, you're looking mighty tasty yourself."

"Grow up."

Angelus walked towards her but she didn't flinch. So he circled her, sniffing at her hair.

"So, when do we start?"

Cordelia wrinkled her nose.

"Start what?"

"Please, _Cordelia_. This little test of yours, you don't think this is going to prove anything do you? Me not killing you?"

"Yeah I do. You want to kill off anything that you think of as Angel's, because it's killing off the good in you. Just like Angel works so hard to be nothing like Angelus. Except you are the same people, just, "

Angelus rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah, heard the speech earlier. Come on!"

His arm shot out and wrapped around her throat, pulling her close and smiling.

"So how about I prove to you how different we really are. Wake. Us. Up."

**AA**

Lorne was the first to notice. They were all seated now, Willow sitting near Wesley, Faith on his other side. Spike kept to the corner, trying to seem distant, and Lorne, well he just stood up and stared. It was the staring that got everyone's attention. Wesley frowned and ran his hands over his face.

"Lorne?"

Lorne turned his head slowly back to the others away from the circle with their two friends. He opened his mouth to answer but he didn't need to. Everyone jumped up as Angel groaned and rolled his head on his shoulders. Faith went towards him but Spike was faster and grabbed her arm pulling her back. He frowned and shook his head.

"Tha's not him."

Lorne backed up a step as Angel rose to his feet and stretched. He smiled and glanced down at Cordelia's unconscious body.

"Huh, looky there. She was bluffing."

Lifting a foot, he nudged her head to the side and watched it flop lifelessly. With a grin he turned his back on her and looked to the others, arms out in greeting.

"I'm back."

Willow was wide eyed, she caught Wesley's eye and he nodded. She moved behind him towards the counter again. She needed her book, she needed spells. Spike went for distraction as he and Faith went on the attack. Angelus was ready, more than that, he was looking forward to it. He took a step to the side to widen his stance and flicked his coat behind him. It was an eruption in motion. Willow turned and ran for her book on the counter, Wesley went for weapons and Faith and Spike went to attack. Angelus wasn't one to hold back and got a hold of Faith and forcefully picked her up and threw her into Willow, knocking the two of them down. Spike didn't pause, or flinch, but continued to kick, to punch, his face changed to show he wasn't holding back either.

Faith scrambled up and helped Willow up next. She stood near as Willow flipped through her book trying to find a spell to help stop Angelus and bring Angel back. Wesley had the axe over his head as he came for Angelus. Angelus ducked, flipping Wesley over his back and into Spike. With a snarl he advanced on Willow and Faith. Yellow eyes glared as he growled and grabbed Faith's fist as she tried to stop him from getting to Willow. Willow squeaked as he wrapped a hand around her throat and raised her in the air. Backhanding Faith he grabbed her by the throat and raised her as well. Whipping around he held both women off the ground and out to either side.

"Ah ah ah. I wouldn't"

Angelus smiled at Spike and Wesley, both trying to get up and come after him. They froze and stared at the two women. Clawing at Angelus' wrists trying to get down. Angelus just smiled.

"Can't have the little witch bringing back Mr. Broody now can we?"

Wesley and Spike both slowly stood up straight. Wesley tried to advance slowly, but Angelus tightened his grasp and Faith made an odd gurgling sound so he stopped.

"Just, tell us what you want."

Negotiating was out, but if he could get the vampire to let go of the girls then he'd say anything. Angelus didn't have a chance to reply, Cordelia did for him. Pushing to standing she rubbed at her head.

"He wants to prove something, but he can't. Can you?"

Spike and Wesley changed places to look between her and Angelus.

"Cordelia?"

She shook her head and gave Wes a small smile before walking past him to Angelus. Angelus growled and tightened his grip on Willow but she kept advancing.

"Do you _want_ me to kill them?"

Shaking her head she kept walking.

"No, but you don't want to either."

"You sure about that?"

He smirked at her and in perfect Queen C style, Cordelia raised her chin and stood in front of him.

"Yeah, I am."

"Willing to bet your life?"

"Cheerleader. . . "

Spike warned and was stepping forward, too late. Angelus tossed Willow and Faith to the side and grabbed Cordelia. In what seemed almost like slow motion, Spike watched as he raced forward. Wesley's face fell and he moved towards Faith. Cordelia's face never changed, as if she knew what was happening and expected it. Her eyes closed as fangs sunk into her neck. Spike growled but was backhanded away. By the time he got up again Angelus was letting Cordelia fall to the ground and wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Mmmmm, even sweeter than Dru, no wonder you've been playing puppy dog, _William_."

"No!"

Wesley was helping Faith up and Willow was rubbing at her throat coughing. Spike's face fell to human as he half crawled, half ran towards Cordelia. Rolling her over into his arms he looked her over. Angelus shrugged and shoved hands into his duster.

"Well, looks like I'm done here. Some people just do _not_ get it. I am not Angel."

Faith's voice came out hoarse as she looked at Spike.

"Spike?"

The blonde's head fell to his chest as he shook it slowly and brushed the hair from Cordelia's face. Angelus made a pouty face and watched him.

"Awwww, looks like the bitchy cheerleader lost that bet."

Wesley was shaking his head in an attempt to shake away the truth. Faith glared at Angelus and jumped up to attack him again. He grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her, pulling her close.

"You just never learn, do you slayer?"

He tossed her forward into Wesley's open arms and Spike jumped up next, only to land at their feet. Willow grabbed her book and flipped through it as she raised a hand and muttered something that had Angelus flying back and landing on his back with a groan. As he pushed up to his knees he caught sight of Cordelia and frowned. Moving towards her to poke at her to move, Spike went to get up and go after him again. Wesley stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Wait."

"Wait? He killed her!"

Angelus growled and glanced up at him.

"She's not dead! She's just, she's. . . "

He frowned and ran a hand over her face, bent his own face towards hers. His face fell and he blinked as if confused. Pulling her into his lap he sat back.

"She's not breathing."

"Of course not! You killed her, you prick!"

Spike shook off Wesley's arm. Wesley shook his head at Faith and stepped forward.

"What is it Angel?"

A low rumbling in his chest was the only warning.

"Angelus! And did you not _hear_ me watcher? She's not breathing!"

"All right, Angelus. So she's not breathing."

Standing up he picked her up and advanced on Wesley only to have Faith step in front of him.

"I'm a vampire, you idiot! I have no breathe! You do!"

He thrust her towards him and Faith looked confused but took Cordelia and set her down. She and Wesley started CPR. Spike moved to guard them as Angelus frowned and watched. Willow picked up the book and moved towards them.

"I need, the orb to get his soul back."

Angelus' head snapped up.

"Try it and I'll kill you, witch."

Spike stepped forward but everyone froze as Cordelia started gasping and coughing before sitting up. Wesley tried to help her up, and Cordelia waved her hand.

"No, you, you don't have to Willow. He, he passed."

"Passed?"

Angelus frowned.

"I killed you, how is that passing?"

Cordelia stood up and put a hand to her neck.

"Because you couldn't do it, in the end, you couldn't, and you know why."

Angelus' curled his lip but took a step back.

"I am _not_ him."

"You are, and he's you."

Cordelia shrugged like it was obvious and Spike shook his head.

"Someone wanna 'xplain t' the rest o' us?"

Angelus gasped and his shoulders snapped back, head fell back and neck strained. Willow shrieked and dropped her book as he hit the ground on his knees. Hand to his chest he closed his eyes and tried to breathe. Cordelia pulled away from Wesley and walked over to help him up.

"Welcome home, Angel."

**AA**

**A/N:** I want to apologize for falling so far behind. I'm afraid my health is to blame and I will work to wrap everything up that I still have out. I'm really hoping to continue with this series and yes I do have ideas! I want to throw out a big thank you to forensicsgirl for her Kathy series which I have been dutifully reading. Unfortunately getting the energy up to review is hard. Evidenced by how long it took me to finish this chapter! I highly recommend reading this series and letting her know how great it really is! Happy Holidays everyone!**  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to Joss Whedon and _Angel _the series.

**Synopsis:** This is the third story in the Soul series I am working on. In order the stories are _The Price of a Soul_, _The Judging of a Soul_, and now _The Weight of a Soul._ The Council is having it's own inner-struggles but have been forced to stop their pursuit of Faith. Just as they are breathing a sigh of relief, once member of Council is killed and sends a package to the team that has caught them all by surprise.

**Chapter Eight**

There was a kind of silence around the lobby of the Hyperion that seemed almost oppressive. It was like cotton in the ears and the fact that everyone was frozen in some sort of eerie tableau didn't help. Willow had hands to her mouth, eyes as round and wide as they could be while she watched Angel. Spike was a study in still motion. Body stiff and ready to spring at any time towards the other vampire. Lorne was open mouthed leaned back on the couch and his jaw surely had to be aching by now. Faith was torn between anger and confusion while Wesley stood in front of her, arm back to keep her at bay. Cordelia was pale, blood still dripping down her neck as she held onto Angel's arm. Angel, looked distant, staring. This seemed to go on forever, but really only lasted a few seconds. Finally Wesley voiced what they were all so unsure of.

"Angel?"

Just like that everyone dissolved into a more relaxed stance. Willow let her hands slowly fall to her sides. Spike straightened, and Angel blinked confused, then put a hand to his chest.

"Yeah. I, yeah, it's me."

Cordy gave a quiet sigh and smiled, but then slipped towards the floor. Spike rushed forward to grab her, and Angel was there scooping her up.

"Wes! She's bleeding! I, Angelus, no, I, "

Wesley just nodded and Lorne got up to let them use the couch to lay her down on. Angel set her down and his hand went to her neck immediately.

"I'm so sorry, Cor, I'm sorry, please, stay awake."

Cordelia shook her head and looked at him then at Wes.

"Hospital."

Looks were exchanged and Angel quickly scooped her back up to head out to the car. Wesley went to the office to grab keys.

"Faith! Go with him! Willow you too! Spike, Lorne and I will follow!"

Orders given, everyone jumped to obey and headed out, leaving behind the circle, the spell, and the blood on the floor of the lobby.

**AA**

It was several hours later and the waiting room was full of people. Lorne had a hat, sunglasses, and scarf on, as well as gloves while he sipped at the small hospital cup of coffee. Spike was pacing and Angel had his head in his hands. Faith sat with Wes and Willow was chewing at her lip watching them all. It was so odd to her, to see them all, to see them all together. To know that they all meant so much to each other. She knew if it was Buffy, or even her, then her friends would be looking the same. Her chest contracted at the idea of having to tell Buffy what her visit was really like, that they had all moved on, and none of the Scoobies were a part of their lives anymore. Her head snapped up as a doctor came in. Wes stood up slowly.

"Well, she lost quite a bit of blood. Along with her medical condition and the medications she's on, it's going to take her a while to recover and she may not ever be at full strength again."

Faces fell and Angel did not move from his perch. Wes removed his glasses and adjusted them.

"Are we, able to see her?"

The doctor nodded with a smile.

"She's asking after you all, especially a, Mr. Angel? She's in room 403. However, please don't take too long, she should rest."

"O-of course."

The doctor turned to leave and they all let out a collective sigh before heading down the hall. No one noticed that Willow stayed behind.

**AA**

Cordelia was sitting up in bed, IV in arm, frowning at the television when the others came in. She immediately grinned.

"Hey guys! Sorry it took so long. Wow Wes, you look like crap, you should head to home."

Spike took in the looks everyone shot each other and closed the door before walking around to the other side of the bed.

"Nice try, pet. Think you got some explainin' t' do, yeah?"

Cordy winced and looked around, then sighed.

"Okay fine. Well, I told you, the PTB gave me a shot. I told you I wasn't getting rid of the visions. They belong to me, and we need them, but, I can't really help anyone in a coma, so. . . . . "

"So?"

Wes tried to push, moving towards the bed, Lorne and Angel staying back. Cordy raised her eyes to Wes then over to Angel.

"So, I had to prove I could do it. That I could be, well, a seer, not just some girl that gets visions. They let me have the chance, as long as I could do it. Which meant, helping Angel. And I did, _we_ did. You passed Angel, and you have your soul."

She smiled, obviously proud but Angel didn't raise his eyes to meet hers and just shook his head.

"I had my soul before, Cordelia. All you accomplished was nearly getting killed."

"No, you had a cursed soul before. And, I, told you it was okay."

Angel's head snapped up and he glared at her. Anger fuming in his eyes to the point that she flinched and tried to get smaller in the bed.

"Okay? So now, not only is it _okay_ that you're dying, but it's _okay_ if I'm the one that kills you! And for what? Some stupid lessons?"

Lorne reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. He could see the tears threatening in Cordelia's eyes and tried to calm Angel down.

"Whoa there Angelcakes. Now I don't know all of what happened in that little mind trip of yours, but I do know one thing. Your soul is anchored now. No curse. Whatever the Princess led you on, you got one hell of a reward."

Mouths dropped open and eyes darted to either Angel or Cordelia. Angel's face fell.

"Cor? Is that true?"

She nodded dumbly and waited. Angel stepped slowly up to the bed. He looked down at her and she tried for a smile.

"You knew, that I would kill you, but I'd get my soul. Permanently, and you, did this anyway?"

"I'm okay Angel. It was worth it, I knew it would be. You don't have to worry about it anymore. It's not a burden it's -"

"You're fired."

Cordelia blinked. She had no words. It took the others a moment to catch up themselves. Spike was the first to say anything.

"You bastard."

Angel just looked up at him. Wesley shook his head.

"Angel, we are all a little emotional right now but, "

Angel shook his head.

"The medical bills will be taken care of, after that, I don't want to see you at the Hyperion again."

With that he turned and left the room. Lorne looked just as confused but held up a hand and ran after Angel.

**AA**

Nothing that Lorne said had helped and Angel had raced back to the hotel. Wesley and Faith volunteered to stay with Cordelia until she calmed down, which left Spike to follow him back. Without his own set of wheels he had run from the hospital back to the Hyperion and still had enough anger to be in game face when he growled as he stomped off to Angel's room. Slamming the door open he found the man calmly looking through a book.

"What th' hell's your problem, Poof!"

Angel didn't even look up.

"If you have a problem with how I run things you know where the door is Spike."

That wasn't good enough for the blonde vampire and he strode in, grabbing the book from Angel's hand and flinging it across the room.

"Cheerleader almost dies savin' yer poof arse an' you fire her?"

Angel raised his head slowly and what Spike saw then made him almost flinch. His eyes were more like Angelus than Angel.

"She risked her life, for what?"

"For yer soul! You Ponce!"

"So she decided, all on her own, that we would all go through these _trials_, in order to make sure I don't lose my soul in a moment of pure happiness. Something that wasn't even a threat. Meanwhile, she almost died and there's still no cure for her visions. She's. Still. Dying."

Spike understood then. Or thought he did. It all felt useless if she was still dying. He knew he'd have given up the idea of a soul if it meant healing her instead. Still, he was on a good angry rampage and wasn't going to completely back off. He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled an unpleasant smile.

"So you decide t' fire her. Oh yeah, tha's solvin' it, innit?"

Angel turned away from him and took off his coat, setting it aside on a chair.

"I can't get through to her. She refuses to take any help and wants to play martyr then fine. She can play it somewhere else. I'm not going to stand around and watch her die, Spike."

Spike shook his head and turned to leave.

"No, jus' gonna send 'er off t' die alone."

**AA**

Over the course of the next week everyone tried to talk Angel out of the firing. Even Willow attempted it before she left. No one could get him to budge. So that by the time Cordelia was getting out of the hospital, she had resigned herself to being jobless, and most probably friendless. Wes, Faith, and even Spike assured her she wasn't alone, but that was exactly how she felt. Wes picked her up, ready to take her home, but she insisted on stopping by the Hyperion first. Just to get the last of her things, she insisted. So he'd called ahead to warn the others and drove to the hotel. The place was empty and so she started emptying her drawers into a box, as the phone rang, she told Wes she was fine and would meet him at the car. So he left her there to go through her things. She couldn't believe so much of her life was this office and yet it took up so little room. It didn't even fill the small box. As she pulled out the drawers she found a framed photo of her, Angel and Doyle and sat down to look at it.

"What are you doing here?"

Her head snapped up to find Angel glowering at her from the door way. With a quick sniffle she wiped at her face and put the photo in the box and stood up with a shaky smile.

"Just getting my things."

He nodded but didn't move, watching her get the last of her things packed up, almost saying something when she went to remove her mug from the stand the coffee pot sat on, but staying silent. Cordelia picked up her box and went to leave, stopping in the door way where he'd turned to the side to let her through. She was effectively pinning him there with the box between them.

"Just answer me one thing Angel. Why?"

His jaw ticked, but he raised his chin in answer.

"You risked your life when you didn't need to. Not for someone else's life, but for something wholly unnecessary."

She quirked an eyebrow.

"Is that what you think? That it was unnecessary?"

"I already had my soul, Cordelia. All you did was make it a little more permanent and nearly got yourself killed in the process. That kind of martyrdom is what will put this team in danger, and I can't have that."

She nodded and slipped through the door, she would have seen a rather relieved look on his face if she'd looked but by the time she turned around again it was clear.

"Two things Angel. First, it had nothing to do with being a martyr. I was stuck in a coma that _you_ put me in unless I could prove myself. That was the task I was given so I did it. Second, this doesn't change a damn thing."

She turned to head out the front and Angel frowned.

"What doesn't it change, Cordelia? That you're dying?"

She shook her head and turned to push the door open with her back. She shot him a sad smile.

"No. It doesn't change that I love you, and even if I knew everything, I'd still risk my life, for your soul every time. Whether you want to believe it or not, you'd do the same. Good bye Angel."

She pushed out into the sunlight, and was gone. Leaving Angel to stare after her and know that she was right. And that watching her die was no punishment, because it meant he got to watch her live, and he'd just given up that right.

**AA**

Another week later and things had settled into a morose kind of schedule. Faith and Wesley had divided up Cordelia's work and were still working on the filing system. Everyone, but Angel, would visit her if not every day, every other day. Cordelia was mostly keeping to the apartment, she and Dennis watching a list of movies she'd deemed absolutely worth watching before you die and the one vision she had, she'd given to Wes to deal with and as a team they did. Spike had hinted that they should at least thank Cordelia, but Angel ignored him. For the team, things were finding a balance. For Cordelia, she suddenly felt as if shed have plenty of time before that final vision hit. Time seemed to drag on. Until a knock at the door.

**AA**

Wesley was tired. They didn't have a vision to deal with, but they did have other work to do and all four of them had been out late, until nearly sunrise. Still, there was work to do, so with only a few hours of sleep he stumbled into the office and Faith handed him a cup of coffee. With a grateful smile he took it then went to the answering machine. Frozen halfway to his mouth, the mug began to shake as the message played.

_"Wes! Someone! Please, they are going to come through the door! Ahhhh!"_

_distant banging in the background along with some military like directions_

_"Please, someone pick up! Someone! Dennis, get the -"_

_a louder crack and the sound of splintered wood, screaming then a crash and a dial tone_

Faith reached for the phone and dialed Cordelia's place.

"Come on, come on, pick up!"

Wes shook his head and reached for his keys. Faith slammed the phone down.

"No answer!"

She raced after Wes out the door.

**AA**

Hours later and no one had any answers. Spike was pacing and Lorne was even there, sipping at his drink and shaking his head as if he had a headache. Wes stepped out of the office and sighed, running a hand through his hair. Faith looked up from the couch, Angel sitting across from her. Everyone waiting for his answer.

"Well, the police of course want us to wait 24 hours. I couldn't get much out of Dennis and what I did get wasn't entirely helpful. Oddly enough, from what I can discern, Wolfram and Hart is not behind this."

"Bullshit!"

He looked at Spike.

"Who else would be afte' th' cheerleader?"

Angel stood up then.

"Spike is right, it has to be them. We need to go talk to Lilah again."

"Whoa there, poof! Who says you're invited t' this party? Fired her didn't ya? Left her t' die alone?"

Angel took a step towards Spike who looked ready to fight when Lorne stood up and held up a hand.

"If I can interject here? I've been looking over that sketch you had the phantom Dennis take a look at and, I'm afraid Wes is right. This one isn't the lawyers guys."

Wes frowned and crossed his arms.

"What makes you say that?"

Lorne sighed and finished his glass in one big gulp, setting it down before he explained.

"Well my little honey buns, I'm afraid this is tied into how the Princess is going to survive these visions."

Faith stood up and frowned.

"So, that's a good thing right? Someone gonna heal her and bring her back?"

"Not exactly pumpkin. I believe, she's been taken to another dimension. Or, more accurately, to my home hell dimension. See, there's this little prophecy that would sort of need our little Cordylicious to fulfill."

Spike nodded.

"All right then, so you tell us how t' get there, they fix th' visions, an' we bring her home all safe an' sound."

Lorne shook his head and headed for the door.

"Not that easy there Blondie Bear. I promised myself I'd never go back there and finding a way there is almost impossible. You'll have to face facts. Her destiny no longer includes this dimension."

He walked out leaving behind a bunch of confused people. Heads hung as they all took it in. Angel stomped off and headed for his room. Spike snorted and adjusted his jacket.

"Right then. Th' Poof's given up, no surprise there. Me, I plan on findin' out exactly where this place is an' makin' an appearance. Who's wit' me?"

Faith and Wes raised their heads and nodded. The three of them headed out to Wesley's car on a mission to find the Host and make him talk. Meanwhile upstairs Angel was rummaging through books, flipping through pages and muttering to himself. Finally he found what he wanted and set the book down on his bed.

"There it is. Pylea. Looks like I'm going to need some magic."

**AA**

**A/N:** Updates are slower I know, I'm having a harder time but I am getting to things! However, the most important thing to note is, this is the end of the story! That's right, that means waiting for the sequel to find out what happens!**  
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